Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week VII

Have we heard this before?

Why yes, yes we have.

The Burnt Orange starts out hot. They win a biggie, like dreamlanding a W over Alabama in Tuscaloosa.

“Texas is back.”

And, then, just when even the most skeptical are beginning to wonder, well maybe it is so, this happens.

The arch rival Oklahoma Sooners, still fuming about getting skunked in last year’s Red River Rivalry 0-49, in Brent Venables’ first season, score on the game’s last play to shoot out the lights on the “Texas is back” neon sign in Matthew McConaughey’s front yard.

Of the Texas Longhorns, ESPN’s David Hale said it best.

They are the “McRib of college football.”

Truth.

I have never dared try that extruded-from-porcine-parts cult favorite of Golden Arches aficionados. But, silly moi, I did pick the Longhorns.

Fewer calories, less cholesterol, but plenty of acid reflux.

Which was my only miscue as your most favorite prognosticator savant of the predictionary universe continues to overshadow all others in the biz. Bama, Iowa (more about them in a bit), Georgia and my undefeated Louisville Cardinals all prevailed. As you read would happen in this very space.

4-1 for the weekend. 24-11 for the season. Glossy.

This week’s winners:

Miami @ North Carolina. It was no surprise that the membership committee of the Egregious Coaching Mistakes Hall of Fame met in emergency session on Sunday. Mario Cristobal, come on down. The Hurricane coach could have taken a knee and won the game. Simple as that. Instead, fumble, Ramblin’ Wreck recovery, Georgia Tech long score on final play. How cockamamie is the world of college pigskin these daze? Cristobal still got a commitment from a Top75 prepster as that committee was voting on the coach’s new honor. Meanwhile, the Baby Blues keep taking care of matters, standing 5-0. Elite QB. Improved D. The game is on Tobacco Road. (Which is ironically a plus for Herr Cristobal, who has yet to win a home ACC game at The U.) Tar Heels.

Iowa @ Wisconsin. Yet again, you are inquiring of yourself and anyone within shouting distance of your musing, is Seedy still bearing down on Brian Ferentz? Oh yeah. Lucifer himself makes me do it. His cuz the Grim Reaper is suiting up to pay a visit to OC Son of HC’s office when the season ends. The Hawkeye offense needs to score 25 ppg, contractually but also theoretically — nepotism goes a long way — for Ferentz the Younger to keep his job. The Hawkeyes did best the Boilermakers last time out, but only put 20 on the scoreboard, leaving BF at -27 on the year. Meanwhile Luke Fickell’s Badgers haven’t given up 25 in a game, and more than 20 only once. Camp Randall, cue the jump around.

Southern California @ Notre Dame. If Marcus Freeman didn’t call Mario Cristobal to thank him, he sure should have. If not for the incomprehensible Miami mistake, Freeman’s choice to go for it on 4th & 11 at his own 35 with nine minutes+ left, would have cast the spolight — and resulting honor — on him. Talk about getting some shade. Now the Irish meet their fourth ranked foe in a row, undefeated but yet again defensively challenged Southern Cal. And they are favorites at home. Will Touchdown Jesus foster a resurrection? Or will Caleb Williams prove again he and his O pals can outscore any opponent? The latter.

Missouri @ Kentucky. It is my belief that what happened to Kentucky last week in Athens, where they suffered a far from Socratic smack upaside of the head, could ruin a season. If, that is, the team is coached by someone more prone to rah rah histrionics than Mark Stoops. The UK coach is nothing if not steady as she goes. That bodes well in times like these. Though the mid season beating does seem eerily familiar. Meanwhile, the Tigers had the Bayou Bengals by the tail, then let go. To Kentucky, they say “show me.” The Cats go Krogering.

Louisville @ Pittsburgh. This is where the rubber meets the road? Will U of L, coming off its biggest W in years, maintain traction? And focus? And play to the finish-ness? Or, will they consider their visit to Steel City a promenade through the park against the 1-4 Panthers? Who are coming off a bye week, during which there has been a rumored total restructuring? This is, the cockiness of Cardinal fanbase notwithstanding, the very paradigm of a trap game. My stomach is already in turmoil. I gotta feeling, and it ain’t a good one. Fortunately the Cards escape, but not without a scare or three.

— c d kaplan