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Seedy K’s GameCap: South Florida

The Louisville Cardinals toyed with South Florida 41-3.

The last time I saw Bulls this meek was at the only bullfight I ever attended in Sevilla, in Spain’s oldest bullring. One bull just wouldn’t fight. The crowd laughed at him, and he was replaced. (I thought he’ll get the last laugh, he’ll be roaming some pasture in the morning.)

Such was the nature of yesterday’s lopsided pigskin affair, my mind wandered into the great beyond as it is prone to do.

Thus, there were moments during the smackdown that reminded me of my favorite America tune, the Bunker twins, a long gone lamented U of L hoops podcast and Frosty Peters.

But for the macro view, allow me to start with my first serious stereo system in ‘70 or ‘71 or thereabouts.

Stick with me, it shall become clear this is about the football game.

More or less.

Adulthood arrived. I had a real job. Making what was at the time legit money if not “real” money. First purchase: A stereo system.

A neophyte when it came to such equipment, unaware of Jay Carder’s High Fidelity, I went to Radio Shack. I know, I know, fear not, within a year I’d realized my mistake, purchased some legit equipment, including a sweet AR amplifier.

Trying to assess the Cardinal’s overall performance I recalled Radio Shack’s three tired marketing model. They had systems designated Good, Better. Best.

Where does Saturday’s showing fit in that ranking system?

Best? Uh, no. The visitors are a woeful football team, poorly coached. The Cards, if playing their bestest would have tallied several more times.

Better? Yes, though the Bulls were easy pickings, Louisville was focused, tough, in command, and essentially took care of biz +.

Good? Maybe. Again, when you run past trees, you look fast. To quote my old man. More will be learned in the two winnable games on the upcoming road trip.

* * * * *

The game was out of reach by the end of the 1st. U of L forged ahead with an obviously insurmountable 14-0 lead.

105 yards rushing. One of those patented M Cunningham 40 yard swerves and scampers for a score. A beautiful lay out grab in the endzone by DuPont Manual alum Jaelin Carter.

* * * * *

It was then that the LSD flashbacks kicked in.

On the ensuing series, the helmet of Louisville’s Nicario Harper and SF’s Brian Battie became conjoined. Fortunately Ben Carson MD’s services weren’t required, He is I’ve been led to believe the first surgeon ever to free a set of Siamese twins from their mutual attachment.

And why are such medical oddities so-called? Because of Chang and Eng Bunker who in the 19th C became reasonably famous, and the fact that they were born in Siam. Which is what Thailand was called once upon a time.

Admit it, Card Faithful, as much fun as it all was, as locked in as you were to the delicious action playing out, your minds wandered too.

* * * * *

Louisville’s next drive ended with another 35 yard howdhedodat Cunningham TD dash to push the advantage to 21 nil.

At the end of which the Cardinal’s QB got his foot caught in the endzone netting.

Reminding me of sweet local podcast now RIP covering college hoops titled “Nothing But Net.”

* * * * *

I was impressed by the Cards’ kicking game.

All but two of Brock Travelstead’s many kickoffs were nonreturnable touchbacks .

Mark Vassett averaged 44.3 yards on his three punts.

James Turner hit a perfecto. Nailed both his FG attempts, and all his PATs.

* * * * *

And, by now, I am so very sure you are wondering who the heck Frosty Peters might be?

In one game for Montana State in 1924, he attempted 17 drop kicks.

In the 4th, up 38-3, Louisville, as was its wont all day, held the Bulls. Punter Andrew Stokes dropped the snap, so in honor of our man Frosty, he kicked the pigskin off the ground instead of attempting to pick it up.

That his action drew a flag had me trying to find the drop kick rule. I think they’re still legal. Not sure exactly why the flag?

But I am sure somewhere a former Montana State Bobcat is smiling.

* * * * *

Which bring me to the final quarter appearance of U of L signal caller Brock Domann. Who was, albeit against 8th stringers, 5/8 for 73 yards.

Belknap is the fourth campus where Domann has matriculated. He was at Campbell for a bit, Independence CC for awhile. And started his career at Ventura College.

To get to one must drive on Ventura Highway in the sunshine/ Where the days are longer/ The nights are stronger than moonshine.

* * * * *

D was good. Better than good actually. Again South Florida is not exactly A La Bam A. (Which begs the question, how lame must Florida really be? The Gators were tooth and nail to best SF last weekend.)

I could have sworn there were two picks by the Cards, but the official box only shows one for Josh Minkins.

Leading tackler Dorian Jones grabbed a fumble.

Cards had three sacks and 9 TFLs. Rude hosts they were, pretty much stifling their guests the entire afternoon.

* * * * *

Total yards: 542-158.

Seven different Cardinals toted the ball for 283 net yards.

A dozen different Cardinals snared a reception.

* * * * *

A couple of things did bug me.

Why U of L’s short passing game was mostly just swing passes? Way too many throws downfield for an adequate if not great long passer.

Why it took so long to get the defensive signals in? Against a real football team, on a number of plays, Louisville would have been caught with its defenders looking to the sideline for the call as the ball was snapped.

But hey, it’s hard to pick nits.

41-3 on a day when a guy was seeing Alligator Lizards in the air.

— c d kaplan