Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week IV

So, a couple of Cougar wideouts were duking it out on the bench, mirroring Houston’s losing performance on the field, while I was checking my pick sheet to try to remember my prediction.

Which was said looooooooooooooooser.

And I was scratching my head, wondering why I made such a foolish choice? Not that I got it wrong, that happens all the time, this is the business I’ve chosen. But that, after my shtick had been splayed out — the real purpose of this whole endeavor — I’d picked the team I don’t really care for with a coach I don’t like to prevail?

Which is a testament to the mindless 15-20 minutes of illogical contemplation I give this feature for your bemusement on Wednesday afternoons.

Meanwhile some dude, trying to one up that LSU doofus counterpart, walked into Bevo’s pen and jumped aboard, during the Longhorns’ game. Was he just intent on becoming a Ghost Rider in the Sky?

You can’t make this absurdity up.

Plus there’s the compounding of the felony by that guy who may be, could be, likely would like to be the head coach of his alma mammy. Purdue had just about sealed a road win in the Carrier Dome. Yet, started to snatch defeat from the proverbial jaws of victory, when a dunderhead was a bit too trashtalkitive really late after scoring what he delusionally believed would be the winning TD. When his coach jumped on the dumboni, arguing with the zebras, thereby doubling the penalty yardage against the Boilermakers to thirty.

On a short field, ‘ Cuse got the W. Which was predicticated here. After which win, Dino Babers carried his hot seat to midfield and handed it over to Jeff Brohm during the handshake. Arkansas, Kentucky and Bellarmine — on a winning FG with :44 left also prevailed.

Weekend: 4-2. Season: 13-8.

More winners:

Duke @ Kansas. It seems like the guys and gals who choose the ESPN Game Day location are the only ones who don’t consider this arguably meaningful pigskin encounter between a couple of perennial hoops powers, both surprisingly undefeated, to be the most intriguing of Saturday’s slate. Feh on them, who can be found on Rocky Top. I’ve been all over this smile-inducing battle for weeks. Winner between Leo Leipold and Mike Elko is going to be getting some serious props. As if both aren’t already, if not quite as lauded among the faithful as Steve Spurrier and Mike Mangino. Rock Chalk Jayhawk.

Southern California @ Oregon State. Beating the Spud Eaters and winning in The Valley are kinda sorta, almost mightily impressive. Are the 3-0 Beavers ready for their Terry Baker moment, a return to the halcyon days of yesteryear? We shall find out against the mercenary laden #7 Trojans of the University of Southern California, also striving to get back to where they once belonged. It shall be rockin’ in Corvallis. Mr. Yes I Really Won The Statuette Even If I Did Have To Give It back shall be proudly munching on his pretzel bunned bacon burger mit cheese and other saucy stuff. His school under new management will vini vidi vici.

Clemson @ Wake Forest. May Saturday mark the moment when clemsoning becomes a thing again? Will I ever be able to spell DJ Uiagalelei without looking it up? Is the Demon Deacons almost flame out against Liberty a harbinger of things to come? How is that Dave Clawson’s unique, running game hesitation thing continues to baffle DCs? Will one of these schools come out of the Atlantic to compete for the ACC crown? Have I asked enough questions to fill out the paragraph, guess at a pick and move on? I suppose. In one of those brain fart moments, I’m going with the Homies.

Northern Illinois @ Kentucky. I’m running out of snark. Cats continue upward momentum. In a breeze. How’s that for nothing clever?

South Florida @ Louisville. Talk about a school unable to get a crop growing in the most fertile of ground. The Bulls. Wasn’t South Florida at one time The Next Big Power? Now they are just another initial school not even showing up on the radar, along with the ULMs and FIUs and UTEPs of the world. Jeff Scott’s record in his 3d year is a glossy 4-20. Forget the 28-31 “scare” they gave Sunshine State rival Florida. Cards roll.

— c d kaplan