Friday Football Follies: Appetizers Anyone?

You know how you get invited to a dinner soiree, where, forget the company, you know the spread is going to be magnifico?

Like, fresh shrimp as big as your fist. Crab cakey bites that are made from the real thing, not surimi. Pizza noshes the hosts have flown in from Lou Malnati’s in Chitown. Then your choice of fresh Dover Sole, or beef so tender you cut it with the side of your fork and Henry Baines sauce. Some Chocolate Bomb thing for dessert that’s so rich you feel guilty from the second bite on, but forge to completion anyway.

That kind of dinner party.

Well, football fans, that’s next weekend, Week I. West Virginia/ Pittsburgh. Utah/ Florida. Notre Dame/ THE Ohio State, your favorite team finally in action on the telly somewhere, if you’re not actually in the stadium.

Tomorrow. Appetizers.

But you know, like, pimento cheese on Ritz crackers, Domino’s, Hostess Cupcakes.

Wyoming/ Illinois. Northwestern/ Nebraska. Utah State/ UConn.

But, I’ll be watching anyway. I suppose you shall be also.

And I got some of the delicioso Impellizzeri’s Pizza left over from my sortie there the other night.

Bring it.

* * * * *

Nick Saban, age 70, just got another raise and extension.

In a smackdown with neighboring Georgia, are we? To show who’s got the biggest block and tackle?

The man who has 6 natty’s in his trophy case will average $11.7/ year between now and 2029.

It’s good to be king.

* * * * *

Another set of numbers which confirm they do care more down there in the Land o’ Cotton.

Billy Napier’s one of the new kids on the block, now leading the charge in GatorLand. He’s one of four former assistants of You Know Whom now head coaching in that conference of champions. And one of those dudes, who has convinced his Bosses of Academia that it takes moolah to win titles.

So he’s got enough budget that the Coach/ Support Staff to Player Ratio in his program is 1.21 to 1. In the Florida team photo, there are 140 football staff members, and but 116 players.

* * * * *

In a national anecdotal poll over which Saturday pregame show is preferred, the breakdown was ESPN Game Day 82%, Fox Big Noon Kickoff 18%.

I’m so very sure the triumphant return of The Pope will flip those numbers.

* * * * *

Listen to that Duquesne whistle blowing/ Blowing like it’s gon’ blow my blues away/ You old rascal, I know exactly where you’re going/ I’ll lead you there myself at the break of day

So, Florida State with Mike Norvell looking over his shoulder as his squad opens with vaunted Duquesne. One game among many I shall hopefully ignore tomorrow. Except for a quick look see. Unless of course it turns into App State at the Big House.

But the “battle” does give me an excuse to quote some Dylan lyrics.

And to remind those Seminole fans, their faves were felled by Jacksonville State last season by the same FG margin as their L to the Fighting Irish the week before. As a -26 favorite.

Out.

— c d kaplan