Hoopaholics Gazette: The Divine & The Madness

Hello, my name is Seedy K. And I’m a hoopaholic.

Wednesday night, with a bit under three minutes to go in regulation, they had to stop play at The Dunk.*

*Which is the most cool nickname of the home of Providence Friars. Though a reference to that chain that sells wheel shaped breakfast confections and coffee of some note, it’s a double entendre. Because you know what they call when ballers slam the rock through the hoop.

The reason for the delay. Water on the hardwood. Sounds sort of familiar.

So, there are ball boys mopping and wiping and refs and administrators conferring, and Steve Lappas braying on as he does. The court’s over some ice. Humidity? Then they start looking at the ceiling, which actions seemed more than vaguely like something I saw just a few weeks ago. A leak?*

*At this juncture, I’m wondering if they considered what very well could be the true source of the moisture. Did you happen to watch the Friars’ last game, just another down to the buzzer single digit OT W over Butler. After being down by 19. During crunch time, Coach Ed Cooley, whom I love and who obviously can coach, took a couple of sips from a water bottle. Then poured the rest down the back of his quarter zip. Easily the most unassuming gesture I’ve observed this fascinating season.

Are they going to move the finish of Friars vs. Musketeers to the school’s on campus gym, what to do?

Eventually, the game resumed. for the final three minutes. And a plus five. Then five more. Finally, after an additional 300 seconds, the surprising Big East leaders won yet another nail-biter.

Which is what they do. Providence, a school with the scariest mascot in the game, has lost but one of its tilts decided in OT or by five or less. While winning a dozen or so.

Is it, I gots to ask, providence? You know that biblical thing, the belief that there’s a divine force pushing for benevolence and good?

I mean, Providence is a program, whose once upon a time star was named God Shammgod. True.

Anyhow, the Friars always seem to play from behind. But always hang in there. And, most all of the time this campaign prevail. Like 23 times in 26 games.

Are they legit national contenders?

I don’t know. But I’m rooting for them.

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Latest news on the U of L coaching search: Sorry, nothing to report.

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There’s one other squad with similar fortitude to Providence in close tilts.

The Wisconsin Badgers, which stand 13-1 in battles decided by six or less.*

*Why do I know stats like this? Because I’m a hoopaholic. I’m a junkie. Every season about mid January, I get a hep lock installed, so I can mainline college hoops. The full drip. Fortunately, there’s a Dr. Dunkenstein’s Health facility right around the corner, where they accept Medicare. Some people prefer the national chain, Dr. J’s, but you know I’m a Cardinal fan.

So, do I like the Cheese Staters as much as Providence?

No. Not close.

Have you seen Badger Brad Davison play?

The fellow is the dirtiest player in the history of the game. One guy’s opinion. So onerous, he makes that Grayson Allen guy almost tolerable. Operative word: “almost.”

So, no, even though I’ve got a couple good buddies who are Wisconsin grads, I hope they lose the rest of their games, until they’re cleansed of the pox that is Davison.

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Breaking Update on the next Louisville coach.

Nope. Still got nuttin’, honey.

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The flip side of Ed Cooley’s coolness?

The poster boy, one must assume these days, is Juwan Howard.

Bashing the scorer’s table with both hands when displeased with a ref’s call appears a trend.

Danny Hurley. He got tossed, but UConn beat ‘Nova anyway.

Bruce Pearl. Fughgettaboutit. They care less in the SEC.

Mike Pegues. Teed up.

Howard didn’t smack a table. He want after a Badger assistant, and received only a five game suspension. Which given some ancient Big Ten history appears light.

Remember why iconic Woody Hayes was fired? During a bowl game against Clemson, the Buckeye molder of men clotheslined a Tiger in the neck. Next morning, powers that be at The Ohio State U said sayonara.

Juwan Howard’s open fisted punch deserved more than a five tilt sit-down, it says here.

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OK, I’m outta here. Need to check tonight’s hoops TV schedule.

The early slate is light. Guess I’ll have to check out Wagner vs. Fairleigh Dickinson.

But later on, some excellent hoops. The Zags at Frisco. Murray State/ Belmont. Ohio State/ Illinois. UCLA/ Oregon.

Do I love it, or what?

Or what.

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Before I leave, let me check the wire.

Nada, nothing about next Cards coach.

Stay tuned.

— Seedy K