This story is about family and my dream and what I wanted in pursuit of that dream. It involves heartbreak, frustration, desperation, family, faith, and sacrifice.
This story begins in 2014/2015. My wife and I have been trying to build a family for 3 years now with no success at all and a lot of failures. I found myself frustrated with everyone else who had and their successes. I found myself frustrated beyond belief that we had to experience this in our lives where others did not. So one day during lunch break I found myself in a church, praying.
On that day in the church I prayed to God that he would help us and that I would give up whatever it takes for this family I so desperately wanted. I promised God he could take away everything good with UofL (and 2013 was a great year.) in order for my dream to come true a family.
Fast forward three years and 3 failed IUI and 2 full rounds of IVF and 6 YEARS of trying to build this family with no results. We had given up on a biological child and had pursued adoption as a way of creating the family we both still wanted. In February of 2017 we were matched with a couple who were due to deliver a baby in June/July of 2017. Other families had worked with this family in the past and had no issues with the mother not wanting to give up the baby or any other complications so we were excited to move forward with it and start our family. We were excited to finally move past all of the failures and begin our next chapter. ln early June of 2017 we had learned a wonderful surprise, we were pregnant....
Still in shock we were careful not to announce anything for worry that something would happen. Well something did happen, just not what we expected.
In early July of 2017 our contact for reaching the family that were matched for the adoption texted me and told me he had news...
The mother had made a choice to have the baby and give it to another family.
We were devastated, confused. What had we done to deserve this? Why did she make that choice?
It turns out it was due to $$. We had paid our $$ upfront to be utilized for expenses for the mother to use, but apparently it was not enough as she found an opportunity to earn more $$ and had another family pay her for the child. Now we would not think of taking the child from the other family as they had no knowledge of our agreement and it was not their fault they got the child and we did not. It was however the biological mothers. So she had to pay and she still is.
In the location where she resides it it considered a Class C Felony for adoption fraud. Her plea deal included 4 months in jail, 10 years probation and her agreement to pay us back in full. A victory and hopes that she doesn't do this to another family, but still no child for us. But this story doesn't end here.
My wife and I have now been blessed with 3 children now: 3.5, 2.5, and 2 months and each one has brought more joy to me than I ever thought possible. Each one bringing its own joy and own experiences to improve my life.
8 years later I still think about that day in the church and my promise as I watch the school and the basketball and football teams I love so dearly crumble around me. I think about how my blessings have brought forward a very large curse that is still looming. With that curse I have experienced personal joy beyond measure, but know that my plea/my prayer could have assisted in causing this doom and gloom.
If you don't believe in God or the power of prayer I understand. However, after trying for 6 years with no positivity and then ending up with three kids now, I don't have a lot of other answers for how my life has ended up the way it has. In the end all I can say is for me: this pain I am experiencing and going through for watching my cards struggle will never amount to the pain I felt in those 6 years.
It sucks, but for me, worth it.
God Bless and Go Cards.