clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Seedy K’s Peerless Pigskin Prognostications: Week 0

New, 30 comments

That’s right, football fans, kickoff is this weekend.

Which means: He’s Baaack!

Referring to himself in the third person, that would be America’s premier college pigskin predictioneer, Seedy K.

The testimonials to his prowess are abundant.

“I have seen the future of football prophecy, and its name is Seedy K.” — Grantland Rice

“Seedy K is so spot on, he makes me feel like a loser.” — Leonard Post Toasties

“Seedy K is the gold standard.” — Jimmy the Greek

“You wanna know what Joey thinks of Seedy K? My lawyer advises me to say nuthin’ so as I don’t incinerate myself.” — Joey the Vig

You need empirical evidence of your guy’s favorite projection prowess? Data this.

In last year’s pandemic season, with empty stands, not knowing from week to week what games would be cancelled, and who might have to sit out; a season where the one true highlight was a Chanticleer taking down a Cougar at the one yard line as the clock ran out, here’s Seedy K’s stat line.

50 right. 27 wrong. 8 DNPs.

Not bad, if he says so himself.

OK, that’s enough self aggrandizing, even for me.

Let’s get to it on the week before the week when matters really kick in gear. There’s a slate of four games, two of which are of national interest. OK, transparency, one game that matters to some other than the schools’ faithful.

Nebraska @ Illinois. It’s not quite autumnal enough for the frost to be on pumpkins yet. But, for Frost, Scott, former QB for revered Tom Osborne who triumphantly returned to Lincoln from the Sunshine State to revive Cornhusker fortunes (Pardon the misplace modifier), his seat on the bench is more than a smidge warm. 12-20 is not exactly what those sold out Heartland crowds were expecting. Nary a bowl appearance. There’s grumbling. Meanwhile, the Fighting Illini haven’t been relevant since the days of the Galloping Ghost who, as the lore goes, played his last game for Illinois on Saturday, and suited up for the pros the next day. So much for taking his final in Poli Sci 475 “Hegel, Marx & the Dialectic.” Last year, the Orange won 41-23 in Lincoln, their first W there since 1924. Bret Bielema, who inexplicably a few years back left a good thing in Madison to coach the Razorbacks, is back in the Big Ten, where he hopes to regain some stature. But, one has to believe Nebraska will show some spunk as this is the featured game of the day. I do.

Hawai’i @ UCLA. Speaking as we were about coaches not meeting expectations, how about Chip Kelly, who, once upon a time, had a good thing goin’ at Phil Knight U.? A real good thing, including all those snazzy unis that singlehandedly changed how schools across the land dress for games. He was 46-7 there. Went to the NFL, where 28-35 and a college mentality didn’t cut it. Especially in Philly, where fans have been known to get prickly. And now he’s got hot seat syndrome in Westwood, where he’s but 10 up and 21 down. The Rainbow Warriors shouldn’t be much of a problem. Unless all the Bruins have on their minds is a week hence, when LSU visits the Rose Bowl.

UTEP @ New Mexico State. The Aggies competed but twice last year. In the spring. Beating Dixie State, and falling to Tarleton State, whose nickname should be the Cigarettes, but probably isn’t. They are independent in this conference-oriented sport. Which means, I suppose, they’ll get to keep all the appearance moolah from upcoming November visits to Lexington and Tuscaloosa, where and when the Cats and Tide will be looking to mend injuries and rest up for arch rivals to follow. UTEP experienced an uptick last campaign, going 3-5 after three seasons of 0-12, 1-11 and 1-11. I know nothing about either of these teams. But, hunch, the Miners take care of biz in Las Cruces.

UConn @ Fresno State. The Bulldogs, if I remember right, were kind of a playa, back in the Pat Hill era. On ESPN a lot, etc, etc. As recently as ‘18, they won the Mountain West, with a W over vaunted Boise State. Then upended Arizona State in the Las Vegas Bowl, and finished in the Top 25. New coach Kalen DeBoer went 3-3 in his shortened inaugural season last year. State remains another squad about which I know little. Other than they are a lot better than Connecticut, which hoops university’s rudderless football program wanders aimlessly about the Chinstrap Nation. The Huskies haven’t mattered on the gridiron since . . . ever. The school should give up the sport. A walkover for the homies.

— Seedy K