clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Seems We’re Ready for Some Football

New, 30 comments

Nothing says the football season is drawing nigh like the surge in appearances of roster guys on Criminal Court dockets.

(OK, other than the surge in bratwurst sales at the grocery store, a truly telling sign.)

So, in one big day of news from the Crime desk, college football has a couple of stories.

Six UK Wildcats are charged with Burglary. One of them also for Wanton Endangerment. Seems a trio of them weren’t pleased, when they were asked to leave a party they weren’t invited to. So they got three of their pals and returned. One of the sextet was packing, and pulled the pistol.

In what is pro forma coachspeak, Coach Stoops is monitoring the situation, but can’t speak further, since there’s an ongoing criminal investigation.

Then there’s the situation at The U, where a member of the squad from the Larry Coker era, is charged with being so displeased with a teammate, he shot and killed him.

This is where I traditionally mention a postulation of mine, to which I used to attach a snarky (and clever, thought I) name, which I shall now refrain from using, given the contentious nature of society today.

The gist of the theory remains. That highly successful football teams, in addition to the vast majority of stand up, good citizens on their squads, also have a few guys who, pissed that they ran out of wings at Pluckers’ All You Can Eat Night, decide to take out their frustration on the way back to the dorm, by waylaying with serious if not extreme prejudice (In the “Apocalypse Now” sense), a foreign exchange grad student on his way to the digital science lab.

This, my fellow pigskin acolytes, is actually a thing.

Which we know because there’s a website, thefulmercup.com. Named for the former Tennessee Vol head man. The Fulmer Cup is the “World’s Most Prestigious College Football Award Based on Criminal Record.”

There are team and individual awards. If you want more details, check out the site.

Anyway, my point is, given the violent nature of the gridiron endeavor, there are going to be at least a few bad boys on every school’s roster.

I’ve always been of the opinion that the higher ranked schools have more of these fellows, and the coaching staffs that are able to keep them reined in have a shot at the Final Four.

Kentucky’s program has gotten steadily better under the current regime.

Miami has always had that rep.

Just sayin’.

Kickoff is just 8 days away.

Coming soon in this space, real soon, actual talk about what’s happening on the gridiron.

Had to shake loose of some snide first.

— c d kaplan