As far as the world of sports is concerned, the first half of 2020 has seen an unprecedented parting of ways with tradition.
There was no March Madness, no college championships of any sort, no Opening Day on the diamond, the Kentucky Derby will happen in September, the NBA Playoffs might not happen at all.
But there’s at least one spring tradition that COVID-19 isn’t going to be able to wrap its spindly fingers around: The Card Chronicle Least Cool Person Tournament.
Sure, there may be a painfully obvious likely winner, and sure, this is happening earlier than usual because of said painfully obvious likely winner, but none of that changes the fact that the f—-ing show goes on. We will hold this tournament, and all of you assholes will say that every single matchup “should have been the finals.” It’s what we’ve always done, and it’s what we’re going to do.
A few things to address before we get this ball rolling...
For the unfamiliar, here’s the group of chotches this year’s champion will be joining:
2008 - Larry Taylor
2009 - Mitch Barnhart
2010 - Steve Kragthorpe
2011 - Brandon Bender
2012 - Doug Gottlieb
2013 - Digger Phelps
2014 - FedEx
2015 - The Game 3 Super Regional Replay Officials
2016 - Andre McGee
2017 - The NCAA Committee on Infractions
2018 - The NCAA Appeals Committee
2019 - Bobby Petrino
We will be having an eight-entity tournament as has been the case in most years past. Voting will be limited to the polls on the site and not on Twitter since everyone seemed to hate it. There will still be polls on Twitter for the sake of basic interest, but those votes won’t be taken into account when crowing winners.
Who Can Be Nominated?
Remember that despite the name of the tournament, the participants don’t have to be individuals or even actual people.
With that being said, I will kick off the 2019-20 nomination process by nominating the Coronavirus as my least cool person of the sports year.
Your nominations are welcome in the comments.