This week has sucked.
After enjoying an unexpected blowout win over a talent-rich WKU squad, Satterfield (initially) shooting down rumors of his candidacy for head coach at South Carolina, Carlik Jones winning the Wade Houston Tipoff Classic MVP, and multiple UK basketball losses, all felt right in the world. It had been a long time since UofL fans had felt this level of balance in the sports world, and to whichever Louisville fan said in this moment of peace “nothing can go wrong!” please go to hell. Because that’s exactly where we’ve all been since Friday.
It all started with a fun Friday afternoon contest with UNC-Greensboro getting ruined by The Rona (thanks, Prairie View A&M). Bummer. But then things got a whole lot worse and haven’t let up since. Later, on Friday we received news that the NCAA had issued its response to the response, followed by the news that Satterfield interviewed for the South Carolina job anyways, only for him to stay anyways. Then on Monday we found out the NCAA basically said “nah,” which was followed by Satterfield shooting himself in the foot for the 37th time in a month, only this time it was in front of a national audience. But that’s not all. On Tuesday we found out that star-receiver Tutu Atwell would be skipping what would have been his final game as a Cardinal, and that the much anticipated UofL-Wisconsin game on Wednesday had also been postponed.
So, in the spirit of wanting to destroy something in our homes and as a healthy way to vent, I thought what better than to ask a few familiar friends about the things we’ve actually destroyed in our homes during UofL-related events. Here are their stories:
“Louisville - South Florida football, 2005. Think it was the first touchdown after right after halftime. Forcefully put my glass down on the table at my parents’ house and it shattered. My dad gave me a ‘come on, Mike’ and then I cleaned it up.”
“(Broke) my kid. Scared the hell out of my son and made him cry after a big touchdown last year.”
Danny “Dumpster Dan” Sinnard (of CC Pod fame)
“Umm I remember almost breaking my hand after Damion Dantzler’s 3 vs Texas (1997 Sweet Sixteen) from jumping up and hitting in the fan.”
(Danztler’s 3 comes around the 1:41:49 mark)
Mark Ennis (Radio Guy, former member of The Chron (don’t call it that))
”2011, Louisville at Kentucky. Kentucky scores right before halftime. I had a clickable sharpie pen, they were really new back then (nerd). And I threw it down on the ground, it hit on the clicker, and ejected straight through the front of my television. Just jammed right through the tv. My wife cried. I had destroyed what was like a $1500 TV. I had to go get an old ass TV out of the garage (to finish watching the game).”
Nick Coffey (Card Connect, Radio Guy)
“Louisville lost to DePaul. 2002. My sister and I were also beefing. I was 13, she was 14. I put my head through her vanity mirror.”
Very normal, rational reaction to a rare loss on #DePaulDay.
Luke Hancock (2013 Final Four MOP, National Champion, Radio Guy, Finance Guy)
“I haven’t (broken anything), but if I was around a TV for the UVA loss a couple years ago (2018) I don’t think it would have stood a chance.”
I’ll count it. He’s the MOP.
Jason Riley (WDRB, Katina Powell Superfan)
Me: “Have you ever broken anything while watching a UofL game? If so, would you mind sharing?”
Riley: “Broken UofL news or any news? IS THIS A HIT PIECE?! I left a UofL game to cover an Insane Clown Posse riot in Bullitt County years ago. I also left after missing five calls from my wife that she was about to give birth.”
Riley: “You meant breaking an item?!”
Riley: “I’ve thrown the channel changer (remote) more times than I can remember, but I don’t think it’s actually broken. My family had to watch games upstairs one season because I had become a maniac that scared the dog.”
@LJthaFiasc0 (Crunch Zone Writer and Podcaster)
“I threw a radio back in 1998 when Louisville lost to Marquette on a buzzer beater. Brian Wardle to be exact. Only AM worked after tha, no FM channels. Mom was pissed”
As for myself, when my wife and I were living in the Virgin Islands a few years ago I punched a hole through our bathroom door following this play…
You can’t blame me. Also, no one ever told me most doors are hollow. We hung up a mirror over the hole the day before our walkthrough so our landlord wouldn’t find out.
Athenia, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry.
If any of you are at all frightened by these stories, particularly Nick’s (Jesus Christ, man), you will be relieved to hear that these were just a select few of out of a much larger group of local media members and personalities I reached out to. For the healthier, more stable majority, emotional suppression and internal seething were the preferred methods of choice.
Please feel free to vent and share your own destructive stories in the comments below, and I hope everyone’s week gets much better.