Let’s talk about these from Jessica to Chris billboards

If you’ve been driving around Louisville these past couple of days, you might have noticed at least one of these strange billboards that are popping up all over the city.

We’ve also got a couple of non-billboard Jessica to Chris messages.

In all, it seems as though there are at least 15 of these scattered throughout the city of Louisville.

Now there’s probably a 98 percent chance that this all winds up being some sort of advertisement (probably for a clinic that deals with “performance issues”) that leaves all of us disappointed. But that’s no fun to talk about, so let’s discuss the other possibilities.

For starters, if this winds up being about Chris Mack then I’m done. No more radio show, no more website; I won’t be able to do it anymore.

My hope, like most of you I would assume, is that this is the real deal. Jessica is upset, she struggles with face-to-face communication, and she’s loaded. She throws all those attributes in the blender and decides that a city-wide billboard campaign to voice her concerns to her husband/boyfriend/lover/whatever is the proper course of action.

Or maybe Jessica has been wronged by Chris, despises him, and has concocted this elaborate plan to make the entire city think that his penis doesn’t work properly. This is also fun.

The real losers in all of this (besides Chris, if he exists) are all the legitimate couples around the city comprised of a Jessica and a Chris. You know there’s been at least one Louisville Chris who has been riding around the city this week and been like, “oohhhhh shit.” At the very least, these couples are probably getting (or will be starting to get) annoyed soon by having to answer questions about this.

Don’t worry, guys, we’ll get to the bottom of it.