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50 things to do between now and the Louisville-Auburn game

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It's a mile-marker day in Louisville, as we are now just 50 days away from the mighty Cardinals taking the field against Auburn inside the Georgia Dome on Sept. 5 in the Chick-fil-A Kickoff Game. That's still a decent amount of time, though, so let's look at 50 things you can do to make the period between now and then as painless as possible.

1. Read the entire first half of the Cardinal Countdown series again.

2. Play golf, drink 1,000 beers, play golf and drink 1,000 beers at the same time. Make up a story about this one time where you played in a scramble with Jonathan Huffman. Watch as everyone you're playing with starts treating you as a demigod.


4. Pass off unhealthy eating or any other guilty pleasure simply by saying you're "celebrating the Jawon Pass commitment."

5. Five left. That takes care of five days.

6. Also at Slugger Field: Thirsty Thursday. Still around. Still fun.

7. Use your turn signal when turning right onto Westport Rd. after crossing the railroad tracks in St. Matthews. Because if you don't you're an awful human being.

8. Sugar Bowl highlight videos. Any of them.

9. Don't tweet at recruits.


11. Crash a wedding. Meet Kyle Kuric.

12. Continue to follow former Cards in the NBA summer league.

13. Momma's Mustard and Pickles: order anything and be satisfied. If you want BBQ (or insanely tasty cheese balls) and want to eat outside, hit up FABD. Can't go wrong with either stop.

14. Hang out with the WAVE-3 weather team and then pick a fight with someone. No one's f---ing with you when this squad is hanging over your shoulders:


15. Mess with Texas.

16. Myron always knows.

17. St. Agnes picnic (or "carnival," whatever) tonight. Find me, high-five me, watch me win 8 boxes of candy in the candy booth in less than 10 minutes. I won't be sharing.

18. Let's pick it up, Rickie.

19. Remember the time we spent apart when I was in Italy, think about how miserable we both were, and gain a fuller appreciation for the time we're spending together now.

20. Only if it gets so long that you think there might be multiple species living in there unnoticed.

21. Don't jump in the baby pool.

22. Multiple bourbon entries in the first 25 seems appropriate.

23. Invite Terry Rozier to a birthday party. You never know.

24. Go to a local high-end men's clothing store and simply tell them that you want "the Rocco Gasparro."

25. Work on your John Tong impersonation.

26. Be careful with the margaritas at Havana Rumba though. You'll stand up when it's time to leave and feel like you've entered a previously uncharted realm of consciousness.

27. Show up outside Forecastle (it starts today), play some bluegrass songs dedicated solely to the magical month of March, 2012, and charge people who stop and listen $375.

28. Play tennis under the lights at Seneca Park. Laugh at the taking it way too seriously dude next to you who consistently shoots "too good" after his buddy hits an easy passing shot.

29. Definitely do this.

30. In less than three weeks, start attending the open practices for U of L's fall camp. Come home, and pen 8,000 words on how what affect the day's events had on the quarterback battle.


32. Make it out to one of the "Ramsey & Rutherford on the Road" remote locations. Flick us off. We'll know what it means.


34. Thai Cafe in Holiday Manor. Great food, great Cards fans.

35. Re-watch the Crum's Revenge national championship video.

36. Help the KY Fillies travel to the US Junior Nationals.

37. This is three things, but I'm not giving it more than one number.

38. Find out where Hot Hot is. Send him poop anonymously.

39. It does. Always.


41. Justify drinking at seemingly inappropriate times as "tailgating for Auburn."

42. Love you, Belle.

43. If you haven't walked the Big 4 yet, it actually is quite cool. Bring a special someone. Push them off if they make you mad. They'll be fine.

44. Say "Cards just scored" any time you hear a train whistle. It never gets old. Ever. People will hoist you on their shoulders and carry you around as they continue to cackle. Every time.


46. Skip an Oliver episode or two. I won't tell.

47. Go through the archives and relive the "Bring Chicken to the Bucket" magic that defined the glorious summer of 2011.

48. I didn't say it.

49. Say "yes and yes" to someone on the street. If they don't respond with "dick," then they don't matter.

50. Re-stock the Cardwear wardrobe. We're a month and-a-half away from 2015-16 being here and you can't re-use the tired looks you wore out during the ACC debut season. Treat yourself and then wow the tailgaters in Atlanta on Sept. 5.