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A brief and accurate guide to Rutgers hate

Should just be a refresher course for most of you.

1. Ill-Advised Haircut

4. We got a haircut

We weren't sure whether or not we were going to admit this, but dammit we've never known how to lie you.

Still drunk with happiness last Friday afternoon, we decided things were getting a little too shaggy up top and that it was time to head to our fancy Barbershop (Super Cuts) and get a dome chop. The chair was comfy, the conversation exquisite, and the hair (obviously) glorious. It wasn't until about five minutes after we'd left the lovely Sharon with a generous tip (37 cents) that we realized what we had just done.

Our last cut had been right before our birthday, meaning it was the last week of August, and more importantly meaning it was before the season started.

We may have been the only ones present in our automobile at the time, but that didn't stop us from saying "Oh. My. God." out loud. We thought about pulling a U'ey in the middle of the road, sprinting back into the SC and asking what their policy is on super glueing the used hair of a recent client back to his head. Alas we came to terms with the fact that there was nothing to be done, and that we may have just ruined the hopes and dreams of all of Cardinal nation.

If the unthinkable were to happen tonight, rest assured there will be a self-inflicted penalty, and it will involve our hair. Or testicles.

2. Schiano Face


3. Ito Point

Beat Rutgers.