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Friday Irrelevance

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I'm having a birthday party tonight (thanks for the card, NONE of you), so if you don't all come and bring a present of $200 value or more as well as one two-liter of your choice, we probably shouldn't hang out anymore.

The highlight of the evening: my wild tales of having lower car insurance getting harder and harder to follow as I become increasingly inebriated.

You've got to cherish it, kids...CHERISH IT.