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What to read while refusing to laugh at anyone's jokes all day

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Just do it. No horribly forced soft laugh, no half-smile, if these people aren't being funny then for God's sake don't encourage them. But then tomorrow go completely overboard everytime they say anything that could possibly be construed as an attempt at humor. They'll lose some sleep at night wondering what the hell is going on, but you will have made it through another day and gone ahead and had a little fun in the process.

Steve Kragthorpe has picked up another commitment as news broke yesterday that Terrance Frederick, a 5-foot-10, 170-pound defensive back out of Texas 5-A power Katy High School, had made it known that he would be a Cardinal. Frederick, who runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, chose Louisville over Arizona State and Baylor.

We haven't really had a chance to talk about all the moving and shaking happening on the football staff, but new defensive coordinator Ron English and new linebackers coach Ted Roof were officially introduced by Kragthorpe at a press conference yesterday. The C-J has video of both Kragthorpe and English addressing the media. has an interview up with Francisco Garcia, who is quietly averaging 13 a game for the Kings this year.

Despite the losing record, do you feel like the talent on this team makes you a playoff caliber team in the West if everyone's healthy?

"Yeah. We're playing good right now. We just want to get things right at the end of the games, but we're playing good right now. When everybody gets back, we're going to an interesting team."

Coming from Louisville, how does playing for a coach like Rick Pitino prepare you for the NBA?

"He prepared me really good, especially mentally. I learned to just wait for my time, and when the opportunity comes, to take advantage of it."

I did end up watching most of the fourth quarter of last night's mythical national title game, and it was every bit as unsatisfying as I'd imagined it'd be. My distaste for college football's postseason is becoming so strong that it's now officially starting to erode my love for the entire sport. Because of this, I was thrilled to read this morning that the six BCS comference commissioners are going to seriously entertain the idea of implementing a "plus one" format to crown the national champion.

It's sounded in recent weeks like Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany could be converted, but that he's reticent to leave Pac-10 commissioner Tom Hansen - who is vehemently against any sort of playoff...because he sucks - all by his lonesome. If these two care so much about the Rose Bowl, then let's go ahead and start a playoff and leave the Big Ten and Pac 10 out of it. Let's see how many years they can hold out once the annual game in Pasadena becomes the International Bowl on crack.

This is going to happen, there's no doubt in my mind. And once it does and the response is overwhelmingly popular, it's going to evolve into a full-blown playoff like every other sport in the country has, and we're all going to look back and become angry when we realize how many years we wasted putting up with this absurdity. It's going to happen, and it's going to be the best thing ever...ever.

Savannah State delivered what is without a doubt the most amazing second half performance of the season last night. The Tigers hit just one shot and scored only four points in the final 20 minutes of an 85-25 loss to Kansas State.

Kansas State set two NCAA records and tied another Monday night by holding Savannah State to one field goal and four points in the second half of an 85-25 rout.

''I've never seen that. That was crazy,'' said Kansas State forward Michael Beasley , who had 25 points and 10 rebounds. ''That just was not good.''

Kansas State (10-4) hounded the Tigers on the perimeter and pushed them away from the basket from the opening tip, holding them without a field goal during a seven-minute span of the first half to build a 16-point lead.

But that was nothing.

Savannah State (8-13) missed its first 15 shots of the second half, falling behind 72-22 as Kansas State opened with a 35-1 run. Joseph Flegler finally ended the drought with 5:48 left, hitting a 3-pointer from the wing, and the Tigers figured to at least get a couple more baskets.

Nothing else fell.

The Tigers finished the second half 1-for-23 (4.3 percent) breaking the NCAA record for worst shooting percentage and fewest points in a half since the shot clock was introduced in 1986. The one field goal also tied the mark for fewest in a half.

What's even more amazing is that Savannah State is 8-13. Sure they're bad, but they're not that bad. If you're looking for even more hilarity, then check out the "game flow" chart.

How bad are things for Kentucky right now? Well not only are humans calling them the worst team in the SEC, but computers are saying they might not win another game all season.

Noted crazy asshole Mike Deane is back in the news, this time because he wears a seatbelt during games to ensure that he doesn't get whistled for technical fouls.

"I got the belt so that I would not cost my team," says Deane, who won his 400th game last month at home against Maryland-Eastern Shore. "The NCAA put a bounty out on coaches by saying [the bench rule] is a point of emphasis. They are going to reward referees with preferential postseason placement who enforce it the most."

Sticking to his guns, the maverick coach, who is the only one strapping himself to a chair in Division I, has religiously worn the belt each game thus far. At home in the Spiro Sports Center, he sits four chairs in from the scorer's table, between his assistant coaches. While the ball is in play, he leans back and bends forward to see the action, maneuvering his neck around officials and still verbally working them. During timeouts, he unbuckles, draws up plays and leads the huddle. When he returns to his seat, he re-inserts the buckle and resumes the position.

The former crowd-taunting Marquette head coach is now manning the sidelines at Wagner, which is currently 10-4 and leading the Northeast Conference. So the next time you're at a bar and someone cute comes up to you and drops the stale but effective "if you could punch one Northeast Conference coach in the face, who would it be?" line, you'll have an answer you can deliver confidently and without hesitation.

I hope Manny Ubilla lights your ass up

And lastly, the inevitable question has finally come up: Does the ACC deserve a BCS bid?