First time I've ever cast a ballot that didn't include Louisville. A small part of me (probably a tendon) has died.
1. USC: Didn't see the game because I was too busy watching the college football equivalent of Audition on ESPN Classic, but it certainly sounded like the Trojans showed the nation what they wanted to see.
2. LSU: Held the vaunted Middle Tennessee State offense (it's funny because they suck but Louisville made them look really good) to nine yards on the ground and 90 total yards.
3. Florida: Tim Tebow can throw, and just about everyone else on the team can run.
4. Oklahoma: The whole humiliating winless teams is so September 8th.
5. West Virginia: Barring injury, 31 points will be the lowest offensive output by the 'eers this season.
6. California: Proved they're way better than Hawaii.
7. Boston College: After a tough opening three weeks, the Eagles basically have a free ride for five weeks which means Matt Ryan's right arm is going to remain attached to his body until at least the second week of November.
8. Penn State: Either PSU, Wisconsin or Ohio State is going to undeservedly earn one of the four at-large bids solely because the rest of their conference is so bad.
9. Oregon: Dennis Dixon stars in "Lighting up Fresno."
10. South Carolina: The over/under on the number of things Blake Mitchell did during South Carolina State week that he should have been suspended for is set at five.
11. Rutgers: Playing Norfolk State and then having a bye week in September is the equivalent of Winter Break in high school.
12. Wisconsin: Washington State isn't that good, you actually have to keep trying.
13. Ohio State: Should have down 21-3 at half, but after years of cheering for them to lose I wasn't surprised to see Washington turn the ball over 19 times in the red zone.
14. Kentucky: Son of a bitch.
15. Cincinnati: If only trades were a part of college football I think we could work out some mutually beneficial offense for defense deal.
16. Texas: Seriously, do something impressive.
17. Alabama: Oh my God Nick Saban is a genius. If he starts 9-0 then there's like no way Tide fans will ever turn their backs on him.
18. Clemson: Furman? That just sounds like a racist name. Furher? German? Furman? You figure it out.
19. South Florida: Auburn win not looking quite as awesome. Croom beat 'em...Croom.
20. Missouri: Beat Western Michigan by ten points less than West Virginia, so this feels about right.
21. Arkansas: Yeah it's sort of taboo to rank a team you had unranked the week before after their first loss of the season, but I like taking things places they've never been before baby...like Idaho...what?
22. Arizona State: There was no fucking way ASU was going to lose on "Faculty/Staff Appreciation Night."
23. Texas A&M: Stephen McGee is a bad ass. They might lose to Miami.
24. Nebraska: They be less gooder than USC.
25. Hawaii: Somewhere in the Midwest the fan base of a BCS at-large selection is already pissed.