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Tired of Getting No Attention and Unable to Win, UC Football Players Go Sex Scandal Route

And you thought the Bengals were...(fill-in your own corny lede here).

This is a couple of days old, but if you haven't heard about you need to, because it's awesome.

Cincy Post:

An anonymous letter alleging that four University of Cincinnati football players and four football recruits engaged in sex with a former UC soccer player at a party has touched off a university investigation.

The letter dated Feb. 14, 2007, and signed "A Concerned Athletic Department Employee," also alleges that "alcohol was involved in the 'party,' which took place during a recent football recruiting weekend."

The letter writer continued, "Evidently, someone videotaped these sex acts and tapes of the sex session have been distributed around the dormitories. A number of our student-athletes have viewed the tapes and validated the rumor."

Well Brian Kelly you wanted to put Cincinnati football on the map, and it's happened without a single coin toss.

Eight-on-one??? Good Lord. I wonder Tim Hardaway feels about this, I mean sure there was a girl involved but the outlandish penis-to-vagina ratio leads me to believe that there had to have been some sword crossing, or at the least some visual comparison going on.

Now nobody knows all the specifics, and anyone who wasn't at that part can't say for sure how it all went down, but in my imagination there is a moritified punter recruit huddled in the corner.  

On a side note, what the fuck Ohio?