Slam:
| Rank | Team | Delta |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ohio State | -- |
| 2 | Oregon |
 2 |
| 3 | Kansas |
5 |
| 4 | LSU |
1 |
| 5 | West Virginia |
2 |
| 6 | Oklahoma | -- |
| 7 | Missouri |
2 |
| 8 | Arizona State |
 6 |
| 9 | Boston College |
6 |
| 10 | Connecticut | -- |
| 11 | Georgia | -- |
| 12 | Michigan |
2 |
| 13 | Virginia Tech |
1 |
| 14 | Southern Cal |
2 |
| 15 | Virginia |
6 |
| 16 | Auburn |
1 |
| 17 | Texas |
3 |
| 18 | Florida |
1 |
| 19 | Boise State |
5 |
| 20 | Hawaii |
5 |
| 21 | Clemson |
5 |
| 22 | California |
1 |
| 23 | Kentucky |
3 |
| 24 | Cincinnati |
2 |
| 25 | Illinois |
1 |
Half-baked reasonings:
1. Ohio State: You think if he ever wins the Heisman Trophy they'll actually announce his name as "Beanie?"
2. Oregon: Dennis Dixon stars in: "Almost on Top."
3. Kansas: Contemplating buying a Todd Reesing jersey...or a Mark Mangino fat suit.
4. LSU: Do you guys remember that one game where LSU barely beat that above average SEC team? That was so impressive.
5. West Virginia: I forget who they play, but I'm told they should have an easier than expected November opener.
6. Oklahoma: Looks like they'd be the opponents if the Jayhawks make it to the Big 12 title game, which would automatically make them one of my ten least favorite teams in the sport if they already weren't.
7. Missouri: Becoming more and more apparent that these guys are pretty good.
8. Arizona State: Respectable effort.
9. Boston College: Not quite as respectable an effort.
10. Connecticut: Probably should be 5-4, but whatever, keep partying.
11. Georgia: No reason, but I really couldn't care less about this team.
12. Michigan: Lloyd Carr for coach of the year? Because he lost to a Division I-AA school that might not even make the playoffs, and might guide a preseason top five team to a top ten finish? No I see it.
This is as far as I'm going this week because the last 13 teams on the ballot all disgust me. Hit the shower, put on some heels and try again in seven days.