Just received an email from GoCardsBabyfirstname.lastname@example.org, and he's asked me to share what he has to say with all of you.
Wow! What a long and strange two weeks it's been my friends.
Together we've shared a journey down the steep and windy road of early autumn, and boy has it been an adventure! But now it appears we've come to that rotten old fork in the road and I've decided that the best thing for me is to choose the direction that takes me as far away as fucking possible from this God-forsaken football team.
It's nothing personal.
Hey, you guys remember that time we beat NC State? Whew! Remember how you felt content but sort of unfulfilled at the same time afterwards? How it was like the same way you feel after dinner at TGI Friday's or after you saw For Love of the Game for the first time? Like the baseball scenes were fantastic, and you understood the importance of the juxtaposed love story, but you still could have used a healthier baseball-to-romance scenes ratio. And plus Kelly Preston was playing the female lead, and while she's definitely nice to look at you've heard she's sort of insane, so her presence automatically exacerbated the whole viewing experience. Remember how it was like that?
And what about that Utah game? I'll honestly never forget sitting in the second row with my big ole' foam finger and screaming at the top of my infant lungs: "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GUY OVER THERE ALL BY HIMSELF! HEY! HEY LOUISVILLE PLAYERS! THERE'S A GUY OVER THERE ALL BY HIMSELF! THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KICK IT, THERE'S A GU- Jesus now they're throwing it, and yep, that's a tou- oh wow he didn't score."
Reminiscing really is what it's all about, isn't it? Ah, but I fear if I don't stop dreaming of the times we've shared I'll never be able to finish the revolution.
I'm dragging myself away from the computer now before I ramble on for pages (like I always do, hehe), but before I go I'd just like to assure you that it's not me, it's you. I'd rather date one of the Federline babies than serve as the sacrificial mojo for the Cincinnati game.
Please don't write or try to contact me in any way ever again.
Yours in the Dharma,
Go Cards Baby!