clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

All That Stuff About Time and Wounds....Crap

So I gave it some time and it didn't work, in fact I'm even more pissed.

Yes he took our program to places previously unfathomable, and yes if we have another successful season in '07 he'll deserve much of the credit, but this doesn't override the multitude of downright classless indiscretions he has just committed. These include...

1. The fact that he made the now infamous quote ("I also wanted to make sure that everyone understood, I know I've said it, that this is where my family wants to be. This is where I want to be. I want everyone to really believe it.") THIS JULY.

When you say something like that, after abusing a program's trust multiple times, I think you owe it to the man who just stuck his neck out for you (Jurich apparently told Petrino, "This is a lot of work, let's not do it unless you're serious.") to stand by your words for at least two or three seasons. And if this isn't really where you want to be, then don't say so, but if you do make the decision to go ahead and lie anyway, then for God's sake at least have the decency not to ask the people supporting you to "really believe it."

2. Petrino's meeting with the players lasted five minutes...FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

When I tell someone I'm going to Taco Bell it takes longer than five mintues.

3. According to Stewart Mandel, Petrino didn't bother telling Jurich that taking the Falcons job was even a possibility until Sunday morning.

Anyone who disrespects Tom Jurich has to be the spawn of Satan. There's no argument. Satan had sex with someone or something, and that someone or something gave birth to Bobby Petrino who then proceeded to commit reprobate acts like disrespecting Tom Jurich. Because his dad is Satan.

4. Petrino is already lying again...

Petrino said he took what "I truly feel is the best job in the National Football League."

Why stop there Bobby? Why not go ahead and say what you truly know to be fact in your heart, that head coach of the Atlanta Falcons is the greatest job in the history of the world.

President of the United States? Please. King of England? Joke. Guy who gets paid to $9 trillion a day to have sex with Jessica Alba 20 times? Gay.

Any job you could possibly imagine pales in comparison to that of babysitting an underachieving, overpaid, constantly bitching signal caller with herpes.

5. This wasn't an overnight deal.  

There have been multiple accounts of folks who saw Petrino in Atlanta at various times over the past week, meaning he was in talks before the Orange Bowl. Perhaps this explains all the third-and-long draw plays (thanks for the bail out Kolby).

6. He just had to do it on GMAC Bowl night.

Everyone familiar with Louisville football surely knows the story of the news of John L. Smith's imminent departure to Michigan State becoming common knowledge at halftime of the '02 GMAC Bowl, which ultimately led to the Cardinals being destroyed by Marshall 38-15.

This year news of the Petrino deal broke right around 9 p.m., directly in the middle of the ridiculously scheduled '07 GMAC Bowl featuring Southern Miss and Ohio.

Planned. Totally planned.

7. He never told his assistant coaches.

According to Eric Crawford, most heard the news from reporters.

A cowardly move, no way around it. Even if he had done everything else right, not even having the decency to notify the men who have worked tirelessy under your direction of your intention to leave is unforgivable.

Check me out, I'm not a good person.

And finally...

8. He never addressed the fans.

I'll never forget attending a basketball game just after the whole Auburn debacle and right before our New Year's Eve Liberty Bowl game against Boise State. Some guy kept holding up a sign that said something along the lines of "Happy 2005 Cardinal Fans...Hello Big East, Goodbye Petrino." He kept holding it up and people kept applauding.

We were pissed, and it was justified.

But even after an act so weasely, Cardinal fans eventually forgave. Of course it was largely due to the fact that we kept winning, but forgiveness in the sports world isn't comparable to forgiveness in the real world.

We warily took him back, eventually accpeted him all over again, and then were downright smitten with him after July 14 of this past year.

Cardinal fans traveled to road games, showed up in droves for Card Marches, and turned the cities of Memphis, Jacksonville and Miami red in consecutive years. We're owed at least a thank-you.

What this all adds up to is behavior completely unbefitting of a grown man.