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You're a Naughty Little Child and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You

Ahh West Virginia fans, taking comedic creativity to that next, completely untapped, level.

Since 1974 (thanks Dad!) I have attended Georgia Tech football games as a fan, student, and then alumni. Over the years, I have witnessed odd behavior at college football events. Until New Year's Day 2007, the event that stood out most was when the Georgia Tech student section covered the Notre Dame Team with raw fish in the late 70's.

After the Gator Bowl? Wow. Just wow.

I always carry my camera to Georgia Tech football games. We were fortunate and had seats on the lower level, two seats away from the Georgia Tech Band section. At the end of the second quarter, the band was in position on the field, leaving their section empty. I walked to the bottom of the band section to get some panorama shots of the stadium and then returned to my seat. I noticed a West Virginia fan standing in the middle of the Georgia Tech Band seating area, with his pants around his knees.

As this is unusual, I pointed the walking stereotype to my fiance', a Virginia Tech alumni. She had been preparing me for the encounters with West Virginia fans and this individual only supported her prior observations.

Then things got ugly.

The WVU fan then dropped his drawers and defecated on one of the Georgia Tech band section seats.

I turned the camera on and snapped the below series of pictures...

The Georgia Tech fans around us saw the incident and were also speechless.

My first stop was to one of the Georgia Tech Band members remaining in the section. I introduced myself as a Georgia Tech alumni and apologized to him for what I had to say next. The story was repeated with accompanying pictures. The band member was in shock and then thanked me for looking out for the band. He went to find a member of the stadium facilities managment staff. I went to find a law enforcement officer.

The Police Officer was in disbelief that behavior such as this would actually occur. The officer requested that the WVU fan walk up to the portal to discuss the incident. Walking up the stairs was a little too much for the WVU fan as he apparently had imbibed quite a large quantity of alcohol. Falling UP the stairs twice did not help his cause with the officer...

We could hear the WVU fan screaming, 'y'all ain't got no proof I did nothin!' repeatedly as the officer questioned him on the 'leavings' in the seat. The officer motioned for me to bring my camera over and show the pictures to the WVU fan. Well, two things happened as he saw the images. One, he stopped protesting. Two, he vomited down the front of his shirt (always a classy move).

The officer took the individual into custody and requested that I provide the images to the police command station. None of the officers in the command station could belive my story until I displayed the images. The WVU fan was arrested and removed from the stadium.

Your mother doesn't love you.

John Radcliff over at Mountainlair has affectionately dubbed the whole ordeal "Turdgate," which is probably better than the catchy and subtle "Moron Shits in Band Member's Seat-Gate" that I came up with.

Call it a New Year's Resolution of sorts, but this year I'm going to try harder to not draw all West Virginia fans with the same burnt sienna Crayola crayon. In fact, I think the fact that none of these Georgia Tech fans came over and decked, or at least confronted, this dude is almost more embarrassing than what the guy actually did.

Did I say "almost"? I meant "not nearly as but still"...the dude shit on a seat in a stadium at halftime of the Gator Bowl.

Almost Heaven...