clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Terry Bradshaw Is Not as Smart as the Dumbest Person You Know

"Didn't you play the retarded quarterback? Are you really retarded?"

Anyone who watched the announcement of the lastest BCS standings on Fox yesterday certainly heard Terry Bradshaw become the latest of a growing contingency of media personalities who have voiced their displeasure over the prospects of Louisville playing for the national championship. Bradshaw, who added that he was "brainwashed" with a bias towards the SEC, wondered outloud how U of L could possibly be ranked so high and asked if anyone would actually watch if the Cardinals were to take the field against Ohio State or Michigan on Jan. 8.

At first this pissed us off and we wanted to make a big deal about it, but then we realized how similar it was to a situation we had when we taught gym at a summer camp in our high school years. You see everyday this three-year-old boy came into class and he thought it was hilarious to call us a girl. Everyday he came in and at some point in his 30 minute break from finger painting and whatnot he would come up to us, giggle, and say "you're a girl." It kind of made us mad and there were several times when we felt like proving him wrong via a birth certificate, interview with our parents, 30-minute lecture on anatomy, etc. But then we realized that even in the simplest terms, any explanation to this three-year-old demon child would be ineffective due to his underdeveloped brain. So we decided to simply let him run free and play on the scooters until he rolled over his hand and started to cry, which happened frequently despite a number of warnings.

Just in case you didn't understand our little metaphor, here's what we're getting at: Let Bradshaw play with scooters.

Or was it that he's a moron with the IQ of a three-year-old at the bottom of his class?

No, it was the scooter thing.


If he makes "Inbred Ricky" laugh then
he gots to stay on the television

This is old news by now, but it's not everyday (or any day before today) that you're able to post that Louisville is the third ranked team in the country...in football. So here yet again are the BCS standings for week 11, bow before their blinding glow:

  1. Ohio State
  2. Michigan
  3. Louisville
  4. Florida
  5. Texas
  6. Auburn
  7. USC
  8. California
  9. Notre Dame
  10. West Virginia
  11. Arkansas
  12. LSU
  13. Rutgers
  14. Boise State
  15. Wisconsin
  16. Tennessee
  17. Oklahoma
  18. Georgia Tech
  19. Wake Forest
  20. Oregon
  21. Virginia Tech
  22. Boston College
  23. Maryland
  24. Oregon State
  25. Texas A&M
Rankings breakdown here.