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Welcome to Card Chronicle

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Hey check out our new, sweet, completely undeserved digs.

For those of you unaware this is Card Chronicle, an evolved form of The Card Report, and a site dedicated solely to University of Louisville athletics. Yes we lost the name, but there are always sacrifices involved when you sign a seven figure deal (We speak, of course, of old school WWF action figures. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake was the deal sealer.).

This is one of, if not the most exciting times in the history of Louisville Cardinal athletics, and we hope you'll check in from time-to-time to read about the trials and tribulations of a football program on the verge of greatness, a basketball program looking to return to glory, and an athletic director who just may be the coolest man on the face of the planet.

One of the super neat things about this new site is that it offers readers more of a chance to participate. We know from hanging around ITV and LSR, and from in depth drunken conversations at games, that there are tons of highly capable writers out there with strong and informed opinions on Cardinal sports. To those people we invite you to utilize the diary section (found in the right sidebar) so that we can ignore you for fear of being overshadowed.

Commenting here is about as simple as it was at the old site, the only difference is now you have to take about ten seconds out of your busy day of Louisville blog reading to create an account before you can post a comment or scribe a manly diary. For the ass clowns among you, you can not create an account and still post under the title "anonymous hero."    

We're confident that both of our loyal readers from the old site have a pretty solid idea as to where we stand on most things, but for the rest of you, here is a brief rundown of what we're all about here.

--First and foremost we're about college basketball, but not "college basketball" as you know it today, the real college basketball, 1980's college basketball. The game was played at the highest possible level in the 1980's, until 1987 when the disintegration of the game officially began.

--We're about college football, but only college football this year since this is the first year in history that the game has ever been played fairly. The sport was solid in 2004 and 1990 too, but there were still two flaws...and a tie.

--We're about parentheses (Oh God are we about parentheses).

--We're about constantly using foul language in a feeble attempt to cover up the truth that we lack the capability to coherently express ourselves through mature and eloquent verbiage.

--We are NOT about TV weathermen. Particularly local tv weathermen, and particularly local TV weatherman Jay Cardosi who uses his sinister scowl to frighten small children at the slightest hint of wind.

--We're about a lengthy heterosexual man crush on dreamy Louisville AD Tom Jurich.

--We are NOT about U.S. Reed, Bob Huggins, Dwayne Wade (in college), Bryan Wardle, Steve Slaton, anyone on South Florida's 2005 football team, Tom Crean, Tony Delk, Shawn Mills, that dude for Syracuse who messed up Brohm's knee, Lee Corso, Jamal Magloire, Cordell Henry, Darryl Martin, Terry Gould, Damon Bailey, the ref who didn't call the fifth foul on Tim Duncan in '96, Devin Hester, Darnell Archie, John L. Smith, Ron Cooper, Lee Todd, the 1994-95 Towson State basketball team, Dave Corzine, Joel Curbelo and Katie Couric.

--We're about the Big East.

--We're about never having to play in the God damn Liberty Bowl ever again.

--We're not, nor will we ever be, about Avian Flu.

--We're about esoteric jokes and references that three people will understand and still not find funny.

--We're about Louisville kickers, reserve point guards and softball left fielders.

--We're about the Second Amendment, but only because we believe that when anyone makes a "the bank is open" comment during a game of basketball, there should always be somebody prepared to shoot that person in the face.

--We're about polluting our writing with so many pop culture references that you'll force yourself to read The New Yorker for at least 15 minutes to cleanse your system once you're done here.

--We're about Laguna Beach.

--We're about the growing belief that the BCS shot Lincoln and Kennedy.

--We're about complete and utter narcissism.

--We're about repeatedly poor attempts at satire.

--We're about humiliating other Kentucky schools from lesser Kentucky cities.

--And lastly we're about ridiculously lame signature sign off lines.

Peace, love, Cards.