We really had no idea what to do after #2, so we shot up, blacked out, and woke up with this list on a piece of paper accompanied by a soft-core pornographic sketch that appears to be a Georgia O'Keefe rip off.
It should also be noted that Chicago's "Stay the Night" is blasting from our speakers as we type this. Actually there's really no reason that should have been noted, we just really like the song and couldn't think of a creative way to incorporate it into the post.
1. Ohio State: Is there any possible way we can just skip the rest of the season and go directly to Nov. 18?
2. Michigan: After this it's apples and oranges folks.
3. USC: Watch them make the national championship game, watch.
4. West Virginia: It's not that we were that impressed with the Syracuse win, it's just, honestly we don't know what it is, but yeah they're fourth.
5. Texas: Probably not going to lose again this year, probably doesn't matter.
6. Tennessee: We know it was the first game of the season, but good Lord how impressive was that Cal win?
7. Louisville: Rut roh.
8. Cal: The team everyone in the world will predict to beat USC in five weeks.
9. Auburn: Who, (Dramatic Pause).....what are you???
10. Florida: That jump pass ain't so cool now is it boy?
11. Clemson: Much like Chicago, the Tigers are going to "Stay the Night" with Georgia Tech this Saturday. BAM!
12. Notre Dame: Has Zbikowski done anything cool lately? We haven't been watching.
13. Oregon: Dennis Dixon stars in Hung Wankenstein.
14. Georgia Tech: Georgia Tech vs. Clemson in the battle for who will get to blow the ACC title sometime in the last two weeks of the season.
15. LSU: We're not happy with the Tigers for restarting "fire Rich Brooks" talk.
16. Boise State: Louisville's going to be forced to play these guys in the BCS, we just know it.
17. Oklahoma: We feel your pain.
18. Nebraska: Just close your eyes, reach for the moment before it slips by. Here is your second chance, take it and fly.
19. Rutgers: We know Brian Hampton got hurt, but damn.
20. Arkansas: That Auburn win looks like it might carry you even further.
21. Wisconsin: Absolutely dismantled a tough-luck Minnesota team, Indiana's win over Iowa also makes the Badgers look better.
22. Boston College: There is absolutely nothing about this team that gets us excited.
23. Texas A & M: A cheap late TD away from being a decently impressive 7-0.
24. Pittsburgh: Gotten where they are by beating up on bad teams, but they've beaten those bad teams pretty badly. The loss to Sparty looks bad on paper, but one must keep in mind that that game happened before Michigan State transformed into Michigan State.
25. Missouri: Because there have to be 25 teams in a poll for some reason.