The Cardinal Countdown...59 days until kickoff

Jared Wickerham

#59 Aaron Ahner


Class: RS Junior

Ht/Wt: 6-3/262

Position: Defensive Tackle

Hometown: Okinawa, Japan

Twitter: @japan_man91

Thoughts: If you read my review on Gabe Ahner, Aaron’s brother, you’ve basically already read the review for Aaron as well. The similarities are almost comical. Both play on the D-line, both are 6’3", both saw action in one game last year (FIU), and both got one assisted tackle in that game. If I was a betting man I’d guess they assisted each other on that lone tackle just to keep it in the family. (O’Doyle Rules!) Aaron is a year older than Gabe, but both have slid into the two/three deep rotation at the ends of the 3-4. I wouldn’t anticipate Aaron getting a ton of PT, but as always his presence his important to the development of B.J Dubose, Richardson, Rankins and other the ends playing ahead of him. Stay on the grind Aaron. ゴーカード

(In case you missed it, Aaron is a defensive lineman, meaning that after 20 straight days of offensive lineman, except for Gabe Ahner, we’re finally moving on. Around day 13 the fingers start to cramp and the mind starts to wonder if you’ll ever see the other side. I was dreaming about pancake blocks and pull techniques. I could see Jamon Brown’s face in my mashed potatoes. I saw John Miller in the checkout line at my grocery store. The pain was real people, but we fought through. We made it. If that don’t say Happy 4th of July I don’t know what in the hell does.)

Sweet Tweet:

I’m pretty sure the all college bookstores and used car lots follow the same business principles. What other industries devalue your purchase by upwards of 80% immediately after you walk/drive out of the store? If I went and dropped $250 on a textbook and then stopped on the way home and bought a $13,000 used car, I’m driving off the lot with a car and book worth about 500 bucks.

I understand the concept of devaluation, but we’re talking damn near instantaneous here folks. I buy a big screen TV and it’s worth about half of what I paid for it in 4-5 months. I grab a book about Sociology and it’s worth half of what I paid for it in 4-5 minutes. Which of these two choices sounds like the better investment? That there’s is your ECON 101 Cloids!

Sorry Aaron, but unless you’re selling plasma infused textbooks it looks like a Popov and PBR kind of night. The struggle is real.

(In a moment of seriousness, everybody be responsible with the fireworks and enjoy the holiday weekend. It’s hard to type funny comments with only eight fingers….)

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