Luke Harangody's diary of a trainwreck
Mon. Jan 5
What a great day! GTown came in here to play us. They're the 9th best team in a country and despite my early foul trouble and awful haircut we managed to get the "W". If you beat a top ten team then you must BE a top 10 team. But what's a Hoya Saxa? It sounds kinda dirty to me.
Sat. Jan. 10
I love winning and then having all week off to enjoy it. Me an Larney picked up a couple of waitresses at the Bob Evans on Tuesday and we hung out with them ALL week. We played scrabble, talked about our dreams, and Larney said he had something called a "threesome." I wonder if that is like "four square"? But we were in such a good mood that when Seton Hall came here to play us I scored 30 points! That's a lot. I shot the ball 23 times too, I hear that's also a lot. We won, so it makes me all smiles.
Mon. Jan 12
Oh well. That was a tough one. We did everything we could to win the game. We played the Cardinals especially hard for all 40 minutes. But then they made us play 5 more minutes. That didn't seem fair to me. Then the team in red started scoring a LOT and after that 5 minutes they said we lost. But I don't see why, I mean, we were tied at the end of the game. Whatever, all these rules are hard to remember. Now I know how Donovon McNabb feels.
Sat. Jan 17.
I don't even know what an "orange man" is. Is it some racist joke that hasn't made it to Notre Dame yet? It's probably since we don't have any racist people at our school. Just a bunch of Micks. I do know one thing, Orange people are good at basketball. They beat us 93-74. That's almost as bad as the tar heeled people beat us.
Sat. Jan 24.
As much as I like winning a game and then having a whole week to enjoy it, I hate losing a game and having a whole week to think about it and eat pancakes. Larney and the guys took me to Bob Evans to take my mind off the game, but they all picked up waitresses and left me with the tab. And I ended up eating until they closed and by time we had our game with Connecticut I was so indigested that I only scored 24 points. But Larney shot 8 three pointers and only made 3 of them. Which doesn't make any sense 'cause he said he had another "threesome" so he's had plenty of practice. The worst part is that we haven't lost at home since Digger Phelps coached here in the 50s, and tonight we did. I'm so upset I could eat a threesome of pancakes.
Mon. Jan. 26
I was still a little indigested when we played Marquette today. Marquette sounds like a girls school. Shouldn't we be playing Marq? That sounds a little fruity though. Like fruit pancakes. But they sure didn't look like girls. They held us to only 64 points, and since we let them score 71 they won. And that's like the fourth loss in a row. One more loss than a threesome.
Sat. Jan 32.
Went to Pittsburgh today. Yeah! I love the Steelers. I love their quarterback cause he has a funny looking head too. I was so glad that he didn't play today, he must be hurt cause I didn't even see him on the bench. But I guess they didn't need him since they were able to score 93some points.
Wed. Feb. 4.
I was surprised tonight. Not only do I not know what a Bear Cat is, I just found out that we aren't in the "top 25" anymore. I don't know what the big deal is, I scored 28 points tonight, and that's like a threesome better than 25. so who wants to be in the top 25 if 28 is even better? And these bear cats were supposed to be soft like a cat, but they were actually soft like a bear and they gave us our 6th loss in a row. I still can't understand how a bear and a cat have babies together. Poor kitty.
Sat. Feb. 7
The most famous Notre Dame guy after Rudy is Digger Phelps. Did you know that he can match his highlighter to his tie EVERY week? It's amazing. I also heard he beat UCLA one time 50 years ago and that's how come he still gets a paycheck. I wish he had been our coach tonight 'cause the "bruins" treated us even worse than those bearcats did. I wonder if they are related. Now we've lost 7 games in a row and Larney and the other guys aren't even practicing anymore and they never take me out to Bob Evans. Oh well.