Now some of you maybe asking yourselves "What is Man Weekend?". But I'm sure most of you and your friend's have a similar gathering every year around this time. Man Weekend encompasses the first four days of the NCAA Tournament (I'm not counting the games that were added when the field expanded to 68 teams. Because I'm sorry you are only actually in the tournament if you win that game. If you lose it, sorry you were never in the tournament in my eyes). During those four days myself and some close buddies watch a hell of a lot of basketball, eat unhealthy food, push our liver's limit to the extreme and generally have a hell of a good time. Now, this is the 6th incarnation of the event and we have learned and grown from each year in order to make the next year that much better. Now I'm not saying we have it down to a science but I'm guessing we've pretty much hit our plateau at this point. So this post is designed to be a humorous outline of what makes our Man Weekend fun and perhaps give some ideas to those of you who already have a similar event or perhaps an introductory guide to those looking to start their own tradition. So without further adieu I present to you CC community my 'Ten Commandment of Man Weekend'....
Thou Shalt Not Puss Out.
- Seriously, if you party too hard and pass out and have a miserable hangover you deal with it. No asking if we can keep it down and 'Shut up!'. You did it to yourself, you deal with it like a man or go home. You had your fun and I'm still gonna have mine. And yes if you do this there is a good chance of a sharpie attack happening while your asleep.
Thou Shalt Not Bring THAT Girl over.
- Now for you Lady 'Cloids out there don't get offended, because chances are if you are reading this you aren't even the women I'm thinking about. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who ask 'Can we watch something other than basketball?'. No, no we can not. This is the ENTIRE reason Man Weekend exists, that thing we all love that's called College Basketball. If it's on, it will be on aTV. Don't ask 'Are you getting ANOTHER beer and/or doing ANOTHER keg stand?!'. You are damn straight I am and I'm probably going to do/get many more. I work hard all year and this is four days off with some of my closest friends, watching something I love. I'm gonna live it and get drunk and do stupid shit and love every minute of it. So if your lady is cool and loves some basketball and beer bring her on over for a bit, she can stay but just be warned about what you are getting yourself into ladies and if we hear/see you having sex expect jokes to be made at your expense for the entirety of Man Weekend. So guys you know who we are talking about, you already know you are dating her. Don't bring her. If you can't get away from her to come to Man Weekend, well you will be missed and we hope to see you next year.
This is not directed at any one person.
This is totally directed at one person. Possibly two.
Thou Shalt Put Meat In The Queso.
- Seriously you know there will be delicious queso, if you make it go the extra step and put some dead animal in it. The type of meat should come from a cow or pig. Or possibly deer. Has anyone tried deer in queso? If you have let me know how that is.Turkey sausage is the bare minimum. 'Meat like substance' is not acceptable. If you put tofu in queso I will slap you and then kindly ask you to go home and fix it before you are allowed to come back.
Though Shalt Not Be A Total Dick.
- Now chances are not everyone's favorite team will be the same team. Living in Louisville our Man Weekends are probably 70% UofL fans, 30% UK fans and maybe an IU fan or two. Chances are we won't be playing each other in the first two rounds so we shouldn't be directly battling each other during Man Weekend. But if your team beats my team don't be a dick about it. My season just ended, yours still has a chance at the title. Don't rub it in, don't be that guy. I'm not saying don't celebrate or be happy, just don't over do it or do it out of eye sight and hearing range. Now this doesn't mean no shit-talking, hell that's part of it being fun. The UK/UofL fans will always shit talk before the games, but give a bit after a season ending loss. Now if your team does lose, take some time to get over it, mourn a bit. But don't be all depressed or angry for the rest of the weekend. Get out of your funk in a reasonable time and have some fun. No one likes a Debbie Downer.
Thou Shalt Not Bring Kids.
- I have nothing against your kids, chances are I love your kids, they are probably adorable. They may call me 'Uncle' Joe. But Man Weekend really isn't a kid friendly event. If you are hosting Man Weekend and have kids you either need a sitter for about 3.5 days or you probably don't need to be hosting Man Weekend. If you need to bring your kids over for an hour or so until someone picks him up, that's cool. We can tone it down for a bit. But seriously, they don't need to be there for 8 hours and a 3 year old really doesn't need to know how to do a keg stand at that age.
This actually isn't directed at anybody, seriously.
Thou Shall Respect The Host.
- Your buddy has given up his castle for 4 days so that you and a dozen other guys can get drunk and damn near trash it. He has put in more time, effort and money than you have and when you leave to go home and nurse your hangover he will probably still be cleaning up after you. What he says goes, respect his stuff and try to clean up a little after yourself. With that being said, hosts, you know it's gonna be messy for a bit, we will clean it up but it can seriously wait until this game is over. Someone is going to probably spill something or break a glass. We will take care of it, don't freak out.
Thou Shall Chip In.
- In order for a team to win in basketball they must work as a team. In order to have a successful and fun Man Weekend you must also work as a team. Everyone has to contribute. Donate your TV, offer to get the kegs, bring a dish do something to help make this a success. Everyone needs to also chip in some cash, this shit ain't cheap! Don't be a freeloader people.
Thou Shalt Not Belly Flop Into A Kiddie Pool.
- Ok so admittedly this is more Mike's deal and I don't think there has ever been a kiddie pool present at any Man Weekend I can remember, but still it's probably a pretty bad idea. Your going to soak your one pair of pants you brought and then your going to be sitting pants-less for all the wrong reasons while you are waiting for your pants to dry while wrapped in a blanket that will get burned later. No one wins you belly flop into a kiddie pool.
Thou Shall At Least Four TVs.
- It's pretty simple. At any one time there will up to four game on a time. What if all four of those games
are being awesome at the same time?! Besides not every can fit it to one room in a lot of places, it's good to spread out. Plus when UofL is playing you can watch UofL no matter where you look! What's better than that?!
Bonus points for TVs in the bathroom and outside smoking area.
Thou Shall Have Fun.
- Honestly this is the most important commandment. Having fun is what this time of the year is all about and it is the goal of Man Weekend. For me this is the greatest 3 weeks of sports for the entire year and I wait for it all year long and these 4 days are a great way to start things off!!!
So there you have it ladies and gents, for those of you who read the entire thing I thank you, I hope you got a good chuckle out of it or hell if you got an actual idea from it all the better. I apologize for the sub-par formatting as I am still pretty new to this whole fan post thing. Feel free to post you own commandments or hell just memorable moments from your own "Man Weekend". We are but a mere ten days away from what is sure to be a great tournament, lets get pumped Card Nation! I hope to see you all down in Georgia Dome in April to see our Cards cut down the nets!!!