Back up in my online booth, with truth and proof
Of Cardinal dominance
DePaul Day
Man, you know that I ain't wearin' pants

DePaul's a joke
And the whole nation's laughin', man
Fear the D?
'Bout as much as Kim Kardashian

A team from the second city that's so shitty
It's a crime dog
Your best player
Would be Light or Dark slime, dog

School spirit? I don't hear it.
Half of AllState is in red, bruh.
Oh shit
Even Dibs has got his Ls uuupppp

DePaul you maybe?
Ha, no way that you could get with this
Might have a chance
If it wasn't for that syphilis

Four straight years in the cellar
And it looks like number five is comin'
Even Rutgers is like
"Yo, it could be worse, cousin"

A Final Four in '79, that's fine
Go pop some bottles, y'all
How'd it feel to win big?
Better run and ask your grand-paw

Should be snatchin' city prospects
To get DU back balling
'Stead you got the whole world
Still DePaulled you're this DePaulling

Meyer and Purnell
Equal mighty fine sausages
But with DePaul and basketball
They equal 100-point lossages

It's time to go
I've said what I need to say
Just got a call from Ice Cube
Said this is better than his best day

Ayyyy