A Chronicloid's Guide to Trolls: Managing Your Online Maturity

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Good afternoon fellow Louisville sports enthusiasts. It has recently come to the attention of management (not really) that there has been a steady increase in the reports of "intruders" visiting the Card Chronicle where they "ambush" the honest-to-God Louisville fans. This can be credited to several factors (increasingly visible games, higher-than-average online participation, etc.).

This post is meant as a guide for those affected, directly or indirectly (and really, you're only indirectly affected because this is the internet), by these offensive intruders. These offenders will by referred to as "trolls." They come in many shapes and sizes, and they often (but not always) come from our opponents' fanbases. But where they originate is not important. What is important is that you handle them appropriate, thereby avoiding becoming a troll yourself.

Before we go further, we should define troll:

a troll (pron.: /ˈtrl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is someone who posts inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[3]

IMPORTANT NOTE: Keep in mind that is is entirely possible that someone on the internet might disagree with you at some point. That is ok. These dissenters are not necessarily "trolls."

When dealing with trolls, it is best not to "feed" them. Examples of feeding a troll would be responding to or arguing with a troll. A troll is a black hole that takes pleasure in your response. Do not respond. Do not feed the troll. By responding in a serious or even semi-serious matter, you fuel the troll's fire. If you are compelled to feed the troll, it is recommended that you respond with equivalent or greater levels of inanity. This confuses the troll and exasperates them.

A troll's post is not unlike a pre-cell phone/caller ID prank phone call. If you're not familiar, an anonymous caller would dial the phone number of his/her victim. The victim would engage in a conversation with this prankster, usually confused, often infuriated by the dialog or lack thereof. Bart took exponential pleasure with Moe's increasing anger. Don't be a Moe. Don't feed the trolls. But imagine an episode of The Simpsons where Moe just ignored Bart's prank phone call. In one of the funniest Simpsons moments, Moe gave the phone to Hugh Jass and an exasperated Bart admitted that his was a prank phone call that went awry. In this instance, the troll starved.

Examples of exasperating a troll would be to respond with an unrelated .gif file. These can be found by doing a Google Image Search for "gif." Examples could be as follows:

Unhappy Girl Walks Into Wall, Soggy Sloth, Frog Man, or Confused Squirrel Dressed in Tutu:

Unhappy girl accidentally  walks into wall

Sloth Getting Picked Up While SwimmingBRB Going for a Swim

(An added side-benefit of using gif files is that they will slow down a computer's download/process speed around that post. Many users will scroll ahead of this troll post, effectively neutering the troll).

A more mature way to deal with trolls is to "Flag" them. This is an action that is the direct opposite of "rec'ing" a post. Just one click away from the "rec" button in a forum is a button that says "flag." While it is unclear how attentive the moderators of this website are to flags, it will in the very least alert them to the presence of your offensive troll. While it may not be a perfect response, it is one that is better than feeding the troll.

Trolls strike most-frequently in times of desperation or depravity (after a Louisville loss, when a student athlete commits somewhere that is not Louisville, before/after a game against their favorite team). It is easy to respond in an emotional manner. Do not become troll bait. Do not feed the troll. Confuse the troll. Show them that visiting the Card Chronicle, registering for an SBNation ID, signing in, and responding for a one-off zinger is not worth their time. Do not feed the troll.

How you handle your trolls is your responsibility. By refusing to feed the troll, they starve in their obscurity and leave. This is the preferred method of troll-annihilation.

Thank you for taking the time to review this guide. Post responsibly. Keep calm. Carry On. Starve the trolls.

Trollmaster General


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