And I did not speak out because I do not wear jean shorts.
Then they came for the unibrows,
And I didn't speak out because I do not have a unibrow.
Then they came for the flat tops....
Fellow CC brethren, let us learn from history. The fans of Lexington Basketball Academy make up the most feared and respected fan base in the history of American sports. Their appetite for taking a borderline clever joke way too far is unparalleled. We've seen it before, and we'll see it again. Along with being feared and respected, UK fans are revered for being the cutest in the country. I'm not talking about the girls. They are cute in the way your toddler's cute when she makes up nicknames for her stuffed animals. You named your hermit crab Herman? Cute!!!!
UK fans: We let you ruin jean shorts, because, well, you already owned jean shorts. I've never seen a UK fan who wasn't wearing jean shorts. We let you have unibrows, because unibrows are hideous. Manly? Of course. Sexy? I'll let the 35% answer that for you.
You simply cannot ruin flat tops. I know you are in the garage refashioning the afro from your Halloween costume (that everyone besides you recognizes is racist) into a flat top. Stop it. Stop it right now. The world cannot have 20K+ rednecks wearing these to every home game. We cannot
At times like these, I like to think: "what's the most ridiculous response I can think of?" Or in other words, "what would an angry UK fan do?"
1) A "stop UK fans from ruining flat tops" petition. Someone must be identified as the likely culprit and we need to advocate for his firing.
2) T-shirts. I'm thinking "UK players do not have flat tops" in block letters across the front.
You know what they say about all evil needs to prevail. Godspeed, CCers.