"When you watch MTV, you can tell all the musicians want to be athletes, and when you watch ESPN, you can tell all the athletes want to rap." - Shaq
Well, fortunate for Cardinal fans, over the coming months, our beloved student athletes will all be launching their (87% fictional) music careers through: NOW That's What I Call Cardinal Music
This is a special series to Card Chronicle that begins with the release of Fat Wayne's 'Curves for Men'
ABOUT CURVES FOR MEN
If bigger is better, this is Fat Wayne's best. In his sophomore release, Fat Wayne lets us into his mind and his stomach to touch all of our hearts. Referred to as a male version of Beyonce, Fat Wayne gets all of our laffy taffy shaking with songs that have inspired him in his young, promising career. 'Curves for Men' is a follow-up on his freshman release of 'Pain, Pain, Go Away', which was mostly a disappointment outside of his hit song 'Somewhere Over the Unibrow'. When asked about the making of this record, Fat Wayne responded, "Sometimes your stomach is bigger than your ears."
While the release of this album has been highly anticipated, it will not hit the floors without controversy, as there are significant rumors it was written under the influence of milk.
If the transcendent music is not enough to get you running to your local Media Play, it is also important to note that all proceeds from albums sales will go to the Ronald McDonald Foundation for Wayne Blackshear.
WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING
"This is much cooler than anything I have ever done"
"I don't need an umbrella anymore, I want it to Wayne all over me"
"I started it and it had moments of brilliance in the first half. I was luke-warm on the second half."
- Rick Pitino
"My sources tell me I will be transferring this to my iPod"
"I picked this right up"
- Jim Boeheim
"PLAY IT MORE"
- Every Cardinal Fan