The Louisville men's soccer team hosted DePaul on Wednesday night and the subsequent series of events were predictable.

The Blue Demons got locked out of their locker room, scored a goal on themselves in the second half, and lost 3-0.

The Cards were on the attack from the first whistle and broke through for the first time when Dylan Mares put home a breakaway goal in the 19th minute. Less than five minutes later Will Vitalis found the net thanks in large part to a pair of nice passes from Ryan Smith and Paolo "Salt" Delpiccolo.

In the second half, DePaul, fed up with all the razzing from Louisville fans over the years, decided that it really, really wanted to score a goal, and so all 11 of them kicked the ball into their own goal at the same time. I haven't watched the highlights yet, but this is the only way I can picture U of L's third goal happening.

It was a predictably dominating effort from the Cards, who outshot DePaul 22-1 and held a 16-1 advantage in shots on goal (not a joke). The vicory improved Louisville to 6-4 overall and 2-1 in the Big East, while the Blue Demons fell to 3-8 (0-3).