The Least Cool Exclusion

As you can all see when you visit the site, there is a least cool tournament happening. In the early years of this tournament, it was pure. It was like fresh snow on a nice winter morning. It was something that we could all look at and go, "That's what's right with the world," and sip our hot cocoa and stare out the window for 5 minutes. But now, in the summer of 2012, we have a pure sabotaged event. For the first time ever, Card Chronicle SCANDAL.

The least cool tournament isn't a tournament of hatred. If it was, it would be called the tournament of hatred. Jim Burr and Karl Hess were nominated this season. Are they officials who make questionable calls? Do they take some of the spotlight on themselves? Yes to both. But, if they are making the calls for Louisville, they are the best officials in the world and I don't really care how terrible the calls are if the Cards win. Even if the calls go against the Cards and UofL wins, I don't really care about the officiating after. Unless it's like that one Villanova game (I think it was Nova) where it was a 2 and a half hour game with 120 free throws. That being said, we have a better nominee than Hess and Burr under the CC roof.

That person is none other than UL is My Hot Hot Sex. Now this absolutely was not a nomination out of hatred. I like HotHot, you like HotHot, his parents probably think he's nice. We tolerate his post game posts when Mike is at the game and Cardfan922 can't do it. But let's be honest, he's just not cool. Are there reasons for this? You bet your ass. Here are 5.

  1. Hello, his name is UL is my hot hot sex. That's not cool. It's so uncool, that's not even his twitter name. He hides in shame from it.
  2. He moved from Las Vegas, the entertainment capital of the desert, to South Dakota, the zzzzzzz capital of the United States. North Dakota at least got a shout out in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. South Dakota is the least cool state in the union. This is a hand to glove fit.
  3. He promised to tell Leigh and I the story about the cougar he got UNLV tickets from and never did. That's very uncool.
  4. He posted a horrific Big East power rankings on this site with some terrible person for 3 weeks. It was very wordy. I think it was linked on some Rutgers site once. Then it ended because he was 'too busy.' He deprived everyone of content. Not cool.
  5. Finally, he's rooting for Miami to win the Finals and is a fan of flopping in the NBA.

Clearly those 5 reasons are much more deserving of an inclusion in the tournament than "The Football Commitment Curse." The curse wasn't even real. If being 'cursed' during February lets Louisville be in the Final Four every year, then let's be cursed. Do you know the final tally of that poll? 1,000-93. The injury bug was clearly the #1 seed. Back in the day before Mike was Mr Radio, Mr SB Nation, Mr I'm gonna wear a hat on the news like a big shot, he would have included Hot Hot. Am I saying he didn't include him because he was going to appear on the news and have the site scrolling and didn't want the 'embarrassment' of this on tv? No, you are. What I am saying, is that this tournament is fixed. I demand a recall election to right this wrong. I'm sure you are all with me. That's why I'm closing with a poll.

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