Chicken Knowles commits to...I can't do it

by Mike Rutherford on Sep 12, 2011 10:10 AM EDT in Basketball

Dear Cards Fans,

If you're reading this, you already know. The Chicken Movement has been boarded up. The hashtags. The re-tweets. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112.

I love you. Mike.

Goodbye Chicken Knowles
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to fingaroll yourself
While those around you tweeted
They tweeted out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the weight plan
And they made you change your name

OK, no more movie/music references. Anyways, if you hadn't heard yet, I'm about to steal your innocence. Chicken Knowles, and AAU teammate Danuel House, have committed to play basketball at Houston.

Obviously, I've had a hard time coping with the news. There was an incident last night at the KFC/Taco Bell on Brownsboro. I'd rather not talk about it.

But drastic times call for drastic measures. The kid still can't sign anything yet, and in the immortal words of Michael Scott, "BFD, she doesn't have a ring on her finger."

So with this hit to the movement and Kentucky week all collapsing on top of us at once, here's what I've convinced the Carmody's Cafe brass to do. From now until Wednesday night at 6 p.m., you will be able to purchase the following shirt:

Chicken-to-the-bucket_medium

For just $10. The shirt will still be available for purchase after Wednesday, but the price will jump to $20.

So whether you're still a staunch member of the movement, or simply hoping to memorialize that Card Chronicle 2011 summer that was, here's your chance to make a statement.

In all seriousness, congratulations to Chicken on his commitment, and also kudos to the many Cardinal fans who showed him love on Twitter. It looked like he had about five times as many well-wishes from U of L folks as he did actual Houston Cougar fans. Well played, 'Cloids.

Bring Chicken to the Bucket.

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Comments

Do proceeds from shirt sales go to bribing the basketball staff to extend an offer IMMEDIATELY?

by Sohl on Sep 12, 2011 10:15 AM EDT via iPhone app reply actions

Yes...Yes they do

by Mike Rutherford on Sep 12, 2011 10:16 AM EDT up reply actions

Obviously someone needs to get one of these shirts to Pitino, or SOMEONE

on the recruiting team

’Cause….no offer, no Chicken….

by frankpos on Sep 12, 2011 10:36 AM EDT reply actions

Good Luck to him. Seems like a good dude.

by JBKY on Sep 12, 2011 10:55 AM EDT reply actions

Home & Home with Houston!

This needs to happen. WE DEMAND IT!!!! They play in the Bucket Chicken’s freshmen year. We play in Houston his sophomore.

Anyone with any pull whatsoever needs to take on this cause. Tweet Houston’s coach (who is Houston’s coach?). Tweet Houston’s AD. Make sure that Tom Jurich, Rick Pitino, Kenny Kline, and anyone else associated with the Universities of Louisville or Houston knows about the cause. We will not stop until even the creepy albino squirrels that live in the garbage cans in front of Ekstrom are chattering in squirrel language about a game with Houston in the Bucket.

Once the internet sees the Wrath of the Chron (don’t call it that) there will be no choice but to bow to our demands. He may not be in a Louisville uniform, but we can still say that we #BroughtChickenToTheBucket.

THEY MAY HAVE TAKEN OUR CHICKEN, BUT THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR HASHTAG!!! #BringChickenToTheBucket !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by OtisPimpBoot on Sep 12, 2011 11:41 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs

Wrath of Chron

Needs to be a thing.

by OtisPimpBoot on Sep 12, 2011 11:42 AM EDT up reply actions

Love it.

Hash tag of the year. #wrathofchron

"...and the present, for us, is something that we really look forward to."
- Rick Pitino

by rickmbari on Sep 12, 2011 2:53 PM EDT up reply actions

I agree...

We may have failed on Plan A, but not on Plan B.

We must figure out a way to #BringChickenToTheBucket.

(Is it just me to is it really hard for other people to type hashtags without hitting the spacebar? I swear it’s easier for me to type “#Bring Chicken To The Bucket”, then go back and delete the spaces than it is to type it correctly from the start.)

by Remote Cardinal on Sep 12, 2011 1:36 PM EDT up reply actions

The next day

And I’m still sad. The only thing that has held me off from complete depression is that he didn’t end up at a rival program.

If he does end up sticking to his recruitment to Houston, I will root for him. If we ever play Houston at The Bucket, I will cheer each time he touches the ball even if everyone around me is a complete loser (aka does not read the Chron.)

All my single Chronies. Rick should have put a chicken in the bucket.

#TransferChickenToTheBucket.

by noobmaster on Sep 12, 2011 2:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

This is brandon bender's fault.

evil ubiquitous bastard.

by johnnyjoejohnson on Sep 12, 2011 3:16 PM EDT reply actions

I read that Brandon Bender was discovered last night passed out in a pool of urine and with a bunch of penis' drawn on his face.

Johnny?????

by Carolina Cardinal on Sep 12, 2011 3:59 PM EDT reply actions

We should be the ex-girlfriend that never lets go

Until he’s officially committed, there’s always a chance. Even after that, they could always eventually end up with us… right?… right?…. (sad face emoticon)

by guyngreen on Sep 12, 2011 4:05 PM EDT reply actions