After getting no more than four hours of sleep Sunday evening, I was frustrated and upset tonight when I again found myself unable to drift away to the ever-welcoming world of Mike Rutherford dreams. Like a parent or a twin, I was overwhelmed with a strong sense that something was not right, that something I cared deeply about was in danger. Eventually I abandoned my headstrong effort to achieve slumber and hopped on Twitter.
I don't have the heart to continue with the lead-in. Just look at it...
And he waited until just after midnight so it was officially the day of Chicken's television debut. If I had the means I'd give Jody a No. 1 special with a reverse dunk and then force him to let me shoot a three in his face.
Let's not kid ourselves, this is a blow. I think we all need to take a moment and Segel-out for a couple of minutes. If you have something black, put it on.
Now take off the black clothing and put on something red...That? Seriously? You got that in '01. I know we've been at this for a while, but at least pretend like you still care about looking decent when it's just us.
Alright, here's the deal: I'm pretty sure the women's suffrage movement had some low points as well. But you know what ended up happening? Chicks were given the right to vote for the male candidates they find the most attractive. Had it not been for people like Anthony, Clark and Stone in the 19th century, Elisha Justice might not be the hottest male athlete in the world today.
Now I'm not saying we should boycott Jody Demling (couldn't hurt), and I'm not saying Jody Demling hates women (prove he doesn't). What I am saying is that this is not the time for surrender. That time was two minutes ago when you were watching the Dracula's Lament video. That time is over.
The point is, ladies and gentleman, that bringing Chicken to The Bucket - for lack of a better word - is good. Bringing Chicken to The Bucket is right. Bringing Chicken to The Bucket works. Bringing Chicken to The Bucket clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Bringing Chicken to The Bucket, in all of its forms - bringing Chicken to The Bucket for life, for money, for love, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind. And bringing Chicken to The Bucket - you mark my words - will not only save Louisville basketball, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.
We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight.
Bring Chicken to the Bucket.