Look, I want to know what Gorgui eats for breakfast, what kind of underwear Michael Lee Harris prefers (and why), where Peyton is at any given moment, and how many times SVT has whooped MM in FIFA 2011 this week! I want the Chron to make TMZ look like Reuters. Is this possible??? Mike, can you let the dogs out!? I know as a fan base we are capable of this. We need some beat reporters that are stuck to the ass of Swopshire (how are his testicles holding up?) and Vic like rubber cement every time they turn around. Of course, no bad publicity would ever be reported...only positive, uplifting, or totally inconsequential (but really, is there any such thing in regards to these physical specimens?) information.
And lest you think I'm kidding or embellishing, or simply creating hyperbole (which I think was discussed in depth on this site or a one ITV), I can assure you I am not. I want to know what CRP said to his wife this morning before he kissed her and went to work....what grocery store Colonel Strong (have we ordained him yet?) shops at and what kind of coffee he prefers (two lumps or one?) and, if it wasn't too much to ask, would he consider signing my Ace of Base greatest hits album? Anyhow, these are my thoughts...and they are sincere goddamnit.