Dear LA Chronicloids,
I come to you as a desperate man. I thought about writing a clever intro for this post as an attempt at luring you in and convincing you "wow, this guy gets it", but the fact of the matter is there is simply no time.
The University of Louisville Cardinals will charge into the University of Kentucky corRUPPt arena in... **calculating... calculating... calculating** eight days. This is not only the game of the year, but perhaps the game of... well a long damn time.
If and When UK and UL make it to the rivalry game unscathed, we're talking about a top 5, potentially top 3 matchup. Suffice it to say, I'm excited.
Alas, I am not going back to my ole Kentucky home for the New Year but all of my Louisville brethren in the area have. I need. To watch. The game. With fans.
It is not funny. This is not a joke. I will be a very pissy Cardinal if I end up sitting in a sports bar alone working on my fifth beer at halftime while peering defensively through one eye at all those around me who just don't get it. Something like this guy. Less light coming through the right eye though.
Just think of what I'd look like after the game. A google pic for drunk Lindsey Lohan wouldn't do it justice.
I think I bring a lot to the table. I am a mean queso maker, I can hold my liquor (despite the picture. really, I was just kidding), I like to think I'm somewhat knowledgeable about both teams while still being capable of nodding in approval when I hear bs that is definitely wrong come out of somebody else. I mean, I'm trying to spare your feelings, you know? After all I'm not trying to look like a know-it-all, but between me and you, we both know you're wrong. Just sayin'. Also, I use my real name to post on this site, so you know I can't be that creepy. Or am I? No. Not creepy.
Give a fellow Cardinal a hand and let me know if you'll be around LA during the big game. Thanks for listening.