Basketball season is upon us, and if you're like me(smart, funny, and handsome), then you've probably noticed that something else has returned with it: The Obnoxious UK Fan.
I've decided to compile a list of common insults you may hear this season from them along with some comebacks that might shut them up, even though we all know there's only one thing that truly shuts them up: Football season. Some of these might seem simple, but always remember your audience when writing UK jokes. Make it too complicated, and they won't understand.
UK fan: Ya'll will always be little brother.
UL fan: Then I guess we're safe. I think we both know what you do to your cousins.
UK fan: I think your shirt is spelled wrong. It's supposed to say Loserville!
UL fan: I never take spelling advice from UK fans.
UK fan: We've got the number 1 recruiting class again!
UL fan: Calipari HAS to get the number 1 recruiting class...that's as high as UK fans can count!
UK fan: We're the winningest basketball program in the nation.
UL fan: Yeah, and the best part is you never got caught cheating. Oh...wait a second.
UK fan: I can't wait to beat ya'll again this year. We'll prolly beat ya'll by 40! Wanna bet on it?
UL fan: Sure. If you lose, you have to brush your tooth for a week.
UK fan: Rick Pitino isn't half the coach that Calipari is.
UL fan: You're right. He only got to celebrate his 500th win once.
UK fan: The Big East is the most overrated basketball conference in the country.
UL fan: They managed to knock you out of the tournament quite a bit.(You'll probably need some stats for this one because UK fans don't remember ever being beaten.
UK fan: You know why we're the best? 7 National Championships!
UL fan: So you're saying UCLA is better than you? They have 11.(UK fan will likely take off his shoes, allowing you to walk away.)
UK fan: Rick Pitino needs to start recruiting and stop spending so much time in restaurants with Karen Sypher.
UL fan: Calipari should probably get a CPR doll in practice. Your team seems to always choke under pressure.
UK fan: We have the best road following in the nation!
UL fan: Of course you do! ALL YOUR HOUSES ARE ON WHEELS!!!