Strong will name quarterback before August camp

I have a nice little anecdote for you fine folks.

I work at the Kroger on Brownsboro Road in Clifton (a.k.a. “The Dirty Krogers” as I’ve heard it affectionately called since I’ve been there); today I was working in the wonderful world of frozen foods. As I was stocking the Gorton’s frozen salmon and contemplating how in the hell I was going to spend the next five hours at work, when suddenly I see an almost holy figure walking towards my section. It was none other than Charlie Strong.

So I says to myself, “Derek, what are you going to do in this situation?” Most men would have cowered in fear at the sight of such a magnificent man. After all, he could crush most of our skulls in about 3 seconds, just for fun. But as I’ve learned from my previous experiences with run-ins with famous folk, you’ll regret it if you don’t say anything. But what do you say to Coach Strong? “Hi, I’m a Louisville fan. Can you sign my EVERYTHING?” “Hi Coach Strong, can I show you to my UK fan co-workers so you can rip their limbs off and laugh at them?” “Guhh…uhhh…errr….mmmmm…ffffffft.”

I decided to go the simple route and just say something quick and nice and let him go about his day. So I pulled up my big girl panties, did my best to cover the urine stain that was growing on the front of my pants, went up to Coach and said:

“Just wanted to tell you good luck this year. I’ll be at every single game.”

To which he replied with something like:

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

Then he gave me a friendly tap on the arm.

That’s right. CHARLIE FUCKIN’ STRONG FUCKIN’ TOUCHED ME. I’m pretty sure I got super powers because instead of driving home tonight I just picked up my car and flew home.

This ranks second on my short list of four sports-related famous guy run-ins between fist bumping T-Will in the SAC last year and Chris Henry calling me “homie” at a Kroger in Northern Kentucky a couple years ago. Dead last: me complementing Samardo (who was riding what looked like a little kid bike) on his hat during fraternity rush last August and him sounding like he was completely retarded when he said something back to me. Jerk.