A Kentucky basketball fan talks recruiting

Wednesday, April 14, 4:17 p.m.

KENTUCKY FAN: Brandon Knight.

PERSON: Excuse me?

KF: BRANDON. KNIGHT. What's up, Ricky P.???

P: I'm still not really sure what you're talking about. 

KF: Kentucky basketball is back, baby. 

P: Oh, OK, we're talking about basketball. And yeah, Knight, I saw a headline about him on ESPN.com. He must be pretty good. I can see why you're excited. You a UK fan?

KF: I was on UConn's Rivals.com site, and they was sayin' how they don't want one-and-done guys who would consider playing for a guy like Calipari anyway.

P: Well, I can see how a person might think that, especially considering how the teams that made it to this year's Final F--

KF: THE ENTIRE NATION IS QUIVERING!!!!

P: What?

KF: MICHAEL GILCHRIST!!!

P: This conversation is sort of confus--

KF: Can you fuckin' believe Pat Forde?

P: The writer for ESPN? What's wrong with him?

KF: Hates Kentucky.

P: Hates Kentucky?

KF: Hates Kentucky. Don't even try to hide it. He told a couple of my cousins at a dinner party. Said he hates Kentucky

P: I doubt a national sportswriter would take out a personal vendetta against a collegiate program, and if he did, I doubt even more that he would tell people about it.

KF: Truth be told, most of 'em hate Kentucky. All they do is write about how Cal recruits ones-and-dones and had two Final Fours vacated.

P: Aren't both of those things true though?

KF: You don't see nobody writin' about how Cal wasn't named in either of them suits.

P: I don't think they were technically lawsuits, b--

KF: Or how all them boys is all finishing up their semester's worth of school work.

P: Oh, really? Well that's pretty cool. Good for them.

KF: Yep. John Wall had a 4.0.

P: Seriously? Because one of my friends from college emailed me like 75 of his Facebook status updates, and they didn't really read like someone who could mainta---

KF: I ain't really care for Orton all that much, but he's finishing up the semester from all the way out in California...FROM CALIFORNIA!

P: I don't understand how that's possible.

KF: Correspondence.

P: Correspondence?

KF: You know what that mean?

P: Yeah, I know what the word correspondence means, but I don't understand how one could complete a semester at the University of Kentucky from the state of California via "correspondence."

KF: I actually went up there to NKU for school.

P: OK.

KF: You know what it means when all these people hate you though?

P: That you have a really unlikeable head coach, a really unlikeable fan base and some really unlikeable players?

KF: It means you're back. And believe you me, Kentucky basketball is back, boy. 

P: You still haven't been to a Final Four post-Clinton administration.

KF: KENTUCKY. IS. BACK. Everybody hates it and I LOVE it. 

P: You had two first team All-Americans and five guys who are probably going to be taken in the first round of the NBA Draft, and you still lost to a team that finished fourth in the Big East and had zero McDonald's All-Americans.

KF: Yeah, but no one expected that team to be as good as they was. They brought Kentucky back. Kentucky is back.

P: You were ranked fourth in the preseason poll and fifth in the final poll.

KF: Overrated. They was too young. Nobody took that into consideration.

P: The Fab Five and the Thad Five both made it to the national championship game. 

KF: No one ever thought this group could be that kinda good though.

P: Actually it's pretty much all I heard about last summer.

KF: From Forde?

P: One of my co-workers brought in this real elaborate spread sheet that compared the '92 Michigan recruiting class, the '06 Ohio State recruiting class and this UK recruiting class. It included high school stats and recruiting rankings from 15 different sources and all this other stuff. He tinkered with three different formulas and in each one Kentucky's class came out with the highest score.

KF: They won the SEC title.

P: Same guy bet me $20 they'd win the national championship. He now claims he never made the bet and says his proof is because "I would never make that bet."

KF: We got Knight, we got Gilchrist comin', we got this guy from Europe who picked Cal and the Cats over Phil Jackson and the Bulls. 

P: That's not poss--

KF: We makin' a run at the big prize again in 2011 and 2012. You can go ahead and mark that down.

P: Everyone who plays the game is making a run at the big prize.

KF: Cal dudn't rebuild, he re-LOADS.

P: Have you actually watched any of these kids play basketball?

KF: *Does John Wall Dance*

KF: You seen this?

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