Weakest Mascot Tournament: The West
by DocCardsFan on Mar 15, 2010 9:31 AM EDT
Email
PrintForget making your picks based upon seeds or their performance over the last months. This year, my wife is going to pick the most helpless mascot to win. So, here is IMO who would lose in a head-to-head matchup of mascots dueling to the death. The weaker mascot (bold font) moves on to the next round. I think you all should have a pretty good idea who should win this one from the start. I'll start in the West this post.
In the west.....
(1) Syracuse Orangemen vs. (16) the Vermont Catamounts.
Not much discussion here. Nothing makes oranges deadly..... unless you count those sores in your mouth from the citric acid.
(8) Gonzaga Bulldogs vs. (9) FSU Seminoles
Chief Osceola kills bulldogs and 'Zags with flaming spears in his sleep. Zags movin' on.
(5) Butler Bulldogs vs. (12) UTEP Miners
Pickaxes, mountains, and headlamps versus this.
(4) Vanderbilt Commodores vs. (13) Murray State Racers
This is a matchup for the ages. The cutthroat entrepreneurial railroad tycoon against some little jockeys on a horse? I'll alert the glue factory.
(6) Xavier Musketeers vs. (11) Minnesota Golden Gophers
Way to go Minnesota. How do you make your state sound even less appealing? Ah, yes. You name your state team after a cute prarie-residing rat. And your coach's name is Tubby? Sheesh.
(3) Pitt Panthers vs. (14) Oakland Golden Grizzlies
This may be the most even matchup of the tournament. I'm taking the Grizzlies as the more fierce mascot for the simple reason that a bear actually bit my mother on a trip to Gatlinburg, TN.
(7) BYU Cougars vs. (10) Florida Gators
Dude. Gators eat urrrything.
(2) Kansas State Wildcats vs. (15) North Texas Mean Green
They're no Tulane Green Wave.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the field of 32 we have:
(1) Syracuse vs. (8) Gonzaga Bulldogs
(5) Butler Bulldogs vs (13) Murray State Racers
(11) Minnesota Golden Gophers vs (3) Pitt Panthers
(7) BYU Cougars vs (15) North Texas Mean Green
I don't think there's any reason to show the next round of matchups: Syracuse is going to the Final Four. Tubby and his Golden Gophers brought their A game against the Mean Green, but they were no match for the Orange.
Your Final Four Favorite. You had better wipe that smile off of your face.
21 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
nice
I would be in favor of the Orange being replaced by Donovan McCrabb except for the traumatic flashbacks that might be triggered every time we played Syracuse.
A Commodore
is actually a captain of a group of large non-military non-commercial ships
So in reality that means the Commodore it more like a Yacht Club president which is much wussy-er than an angry jockey or the thundering hooves of a thoroughbred.
However, a little bit of history, Cornelius Vanderbilt (whom the school is named after) was given the nickname of "The Commodore"
As he built his wealth through various shipping enterprises. This went to fund his ventures in the newly burgeoning railroad industry.
But yeah, I’m reminded of Caddyshack when Danny is trying to impress the Judge. 
DocCardsFan
The 'Ville, KY
by DocCardsFan on Mar 15, 2010 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions
Danny, I'm having a party this weekend.
…how would you like to come over and mow my lawn?
by UL is my hot hot sex on Mar 15, 2010 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Your mom was bitten by a bear?!?!?!
That’s a hardcore mom
by I'd go abstinent to be the UofL Priest on Mar 15, 2010 11:14 AM EDT reply actions
It's actually my mother-in-law
If that tells you what i’m up against. It was during lunch in a park: she was trying to wrestle a hunk of salami away from the bear. She’s all of 5’3", too.
DocCardsFan
The 'Ville, KY
by DocCardsFan on Mar 15, 2010 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions
Your mother-in-law should be a mascot!
P.S. Who ended up with the salami?
i hope
the gauchos end up winning this tourney… cant beat mexican cowboys
by Chicago's Cardinal 3 on Mar 15, 2010 11:42 AM EDT reply actions
Not to mention
It’s the name of one of the greatest albums by one of the greatest bands ever (Steely Dan). They get my vote too.
2 people that obviously voted for Kyle "The Kure" Kuric
by UL is my hot hot sex on Mar 15, 2010 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions
How dare you, sir
How dare you! I wrote at length about my hatred for that ridiculous nick. I voted for K2 and will forever refer to him as such. Pistols at dawn if an apology is not forthcoming, SIR! Hrrrrmph.
Hi.
I’m sorry….
I’M SORRY YOU THINK STEELY DAN IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BANDS EVER.
by UL is my hot hot sex on Mar 15, 2010 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Thanks for this.
It’s the funniest thing I’ve read in days. That “Golden Gophers” thing is truly an amazing mascot choice.
Wasn’t Syracuse at one time the “Orangemen”? If so, we have echoes of William of Orange and some serious hard cases who made life difficult for the Irish…Not a wuss mascot at all if that’s the case.
I don't think it was a reference to old Will
They changed the name because it was (taken to be, at least) a somewhat offensive reference to native Americans. They changed it about the same time as St. John’s changed from Red Men to Red Storm.
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
