"Louisville and Syracuse on Saturday was a rolling extravaganza of morbid curiosity for the viewers assembled at the Alphabetical's tailgate of choice on Saturday. "Are they still scoreless in the first quarter?" (They were.) "Did no one score a single point in the first half?" (They didn't.) "Has anyone thrown themselves off the upper deck of Papa John's Stadium yet? (Not as far as we know, but even Camus would have understood.) Did Dexter McCluster's total yardage from Saturday exceed the winning team's totals by double? (Yes; McCluster, 324 all-purpose yards, Louisville, 151 total net yards.) Will this game save Steve Kragthorpe's job? (No, no, no: Krag1N1 is a a zombie coach waiting for a merciful cricket bat to the back of the head, and an offensive specialist whose team averaged 2.8 yards a play on Saturday.) Should this game's records be burnt and expunged from the records of the sport itself? (No; history needs its warnings as well as its stories of heroism.) Who were the real heroes here? (The fans who sat through this. Salute!)"