This Is Your Captain

by Roz on Jan 25, 2009 9:03 AM EST

--Our flight Syracuse will take about an hour and a half...maybe an hour and forty-five minutes...the weather at Hancock International is clear, sunny, and about four above, so I anticipate no mosquito problems.

--Please ensure that your seat is in the upright position...your seatbelts are secured...the snack tray is placed flat to the seat in front of you...and that any small bagage is snugly stowed beneath the seat in front of you.

--We're gonna have to hit some outside shots to win this one.

--And Frankpos, in 14B, please remember that when the beverage cart comes around that there is a limit of TWO drinks to a passenger.

--Let's try not to land in the Hudson

--God Save The Cards

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Old Comedy Line

How come the seat cushion always turns into a “flotation device?”
Can’t it turn into a……a…..ah….um….a…..BOAT!!??

by Roz on Jan 25, 2009 9:05 AM EST reply actions

That is a pretty old one...but a good one

my ticket says “unlimited drinks and hijinks”

Isn’t this flight headed to Jamaica?

by frankpos on Jan 25, 2009 10:26 AM EST up reply actions

Yeah, RastaMon Frank

…and don’t Bogart that joint.
Good luck today.

by Roz on Jan 25, 2009 10:41 AM EST up reply actions

Bogarting SOB

by adam10001 on Jan 25, 2009 11:54 AM EST up reply actions

Old Bob Newhart Line

On NoFrills Airline. Going to Tahiti. No Stewardess service. Just an old guy named “Phil” passing out some Slim Jims. No PA system, so pilot (played by Newhart) leaves cabin and walks down aisle to address passengers in person. Has five oclock shadow since last Tuesday. Bulging valises under his bloodshot eyes. Hands shaking like Hell. He addresses the passengers with a question…
“We’re going to Tahiti, RIGHT?”
Some mumbling from the passengers. LOTS of mumbling from the passengers. Then, Captain Newhart:
“It’s liver shaped, isn’t it?”

by Roz on Jan 25, 2009 10:48 AM EST up reply actions