FanPost

SEINFELD SCENE

CURTAIN OPENS
PLACE:  JERRY'S FAMILIAR APARTMENT

JERRY AND GEORGE, BOTH WELL INTO THEIR LATE TWENTIES, ARE SITTING AT A SMALL TABLE IN JERRY'S LIVING ROOM.  THEY ARE PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH A BOOK OF MATCHES...A GAME MOST PEOPLE THEIR AGE HAVE GIVEN UP YEARS AGO.
GEORGE'S HANDS ARE BOUND TOGETHER TO FORM A GOAL POST.  JERRY FLICKS THE BOOK OF MATCHES WITH HIS MIDDLE FINGER, AND THE MATCH BOOK BUZZES BY GEORGE'S NOSE.

GEORGE (EXCITED): NO GOOD!  WIDE LEFT!  NO GOOD!
JERRY (EQUALLY EXCITED):  WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO GOOD?  STRAIT DOWN BROADWAY!  IT WAS GOOD!  IT WAS GOOD!

GEORGE (IGNORING HIS PLEA):  NO WAY, JOSE, STILL 6-3, MY FAVOR...TOUCHBACK...MY BALL ON THE 20.

JERRY:  BY THE WAY, WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT WRITING A SCRIPT ABOUT NOTHING?

SUDDENLY KRAMER APPEARS...CRASHING THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR OPENING, AND SLIDING TO A PERFECT STOP RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BOYS.

KRAMER:  HEY
JERRY:  HEY
GEORGE (STILL CONCENTRATING ON THE TABLE):  HEY KRAMER.

KRAMER IS ADORNED IN HIS USUAL SARTORIAL SPLENDOR...BROWN CHECKED HABAND PANTS FROM 1972...NASTY YELLOW SHIRT...GOODWILL TAN LOAFERS...BRILLO CITY HAIR.

KRAMER:  HEY, HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE THE GAME ON?
JERRY (TRYING ANOTHER FIELD GOAL):  WHAT GAME IS THAT?
KRAMER (VERY EXCITED):  LOUISVILLE VERSUS THE VOLS...IT'S FANTASTIC...YOU SHOULD SEE THIS LITTLE GUY, PRESTON KNOWLES...HE JUST FLITS AND FLITS AND FLITS AND FLITS....JUST LIKE A LITTLE WATER BUG.  AND HE PLAYS  B  I  G    D.  HE'S SHUTTING CHRIS LOFTON RIGHT DOWN!  DO YOU GUYS KNOW HIM?

GEORGE (LOSING THE FOOTBALL GAME TO JERRY AND DISGUSTED):  NO, NEVER HEARD OF HIM.

KRAMER (SHOCKED):  THEY CALL HIM "THE SUIT", "THE ARMANI', ON CARD CHRONICLE!

JERRY (DIFFIDENT):  OH, REALLY?

KRAMER:  I THINK HE'S BEYONCE'S BROTHER.

GEORGE (PERKS UP):  BOOTY CITY!

KRAMER:  HEY, I'M GONNA MAKE SOME MAI TAI'S FOR THE SECOND HALF.  JERRY, DO YOU HAVE ANY PINEAPPLE?

JERRY:  FRIDGE, SECOND SHELF.

KRAMER:  PAPAYA?

JERRY:  SECOND SHELF.

KRAMER:  PINEAPPLE JUICE?

JERRY:  ON TOP ON THE RIGHT.

KRAMER BARELY BALANCES ALL OF THE INCREDIENTS IN HIS ARMS AND TURNS TO LEAVE, BUT STOPS AS HE REMEMBERS THAT HE STILL LACKS ONE ITEM FOR THE DRINKS.

KRAMER;  DO YOU HAVE ANY RUM, JERRY?

JERRY (AS ALWAYS, SUFFERS HIS NEIGHBOR PATIENTLY):  FOURTH SHELF IN THE LIQUOR CABINET.

THE BOYS CONTINUE TO PLAY MATCH FOOTBALL AND AS KRAMER LEAVES HE YELLS BACK TO THEM.

KRAMER:  GO PRESTON!  GO LOUISVILLE!  GO CARDS!!

THE BOYS ARE STILL ENGROSSED IN THEIR GAME AND BARELY RESPOND

JERRY:  YEAH, SURE, WHATEVER.
GEORGE:  YEAH, WHAT THE HELL, GO CARDS! GO CARDS!

                  CURTAIN    

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