What to read while thinking of funny New Year's resolutions to use at your party

Somebody's going to ask, and don't feel bad about being a smart ass because the type of person who asks that question almost always deserves it.

The biggest story over the last four days has been the role of Tyreke Evans in a Nov. 25 murder. Evans was reportedly driving the vehicle from which his cousin, 16-year-old Jamar "Mar Mar" Evans, shot and killed a gang member.

The latest piece on the situation comes from a trio of Philadelphia Inquirer staff writers, and reveals that Evans has been cooperating with authorities and is being treated as a witness and not a suspect. But because of the perception that Evans is "snitching" or perhaps simply because he has talked to authorities, Tyreke's family fears that someone involved in the situation might be out for revenge, and so they have hired extra protection to ensure the safety of arguably the top prep basketball player in the country.

I'm hesitant to make any additional comments on this situation until more is known, but the one thing I will say is that I simply can't fathom why all these kids with everything to lose continue to choose to spend their nights with kids who have nothing to lose. There are decent movies on at all hours of the night Tyreke, and if the massive editing ruins the experience for you, Netflix is cheap and it's pretty awesome. Play basketball during the day, watch movies at night, and if anyone calls your lack of sociality into question, just remember that in two years you're going to have like 80 million more dollars than they are. I think it's a situation you can handle.

No substantiated news on the defensive coordinator front, but footballscoop.com (a site with a track record I have no knowledge of) reports that current (or former, I'm not sure how the whole fired but still coaching situation works when it comes to job title) Michigan defensive coordinator Ron English is going to be the guy who lands the gig. While his resume certainly looked a bit brighter around Dec. 1 of last year, landing English would still be an enormous and exciting hire for this program.

Fans have been able to get a close up look at some high-profile U of L recruits at the King of the Bluegrass and Fifth Third Tournaments (apparently Noel Johnson is the real deal) this week, but the biggest recruiting story on Thursday night happened in Charlotte at the Bojangles' Tournament where prized signee Samardo Samuels went down with an ankle injury during the first half of a St. Benedict's victory. Samuels was supposed to do battle with the nation's top junior center - South Atlanta's Derrick Favors - at 6:30 this evening, but his status is up in the air at this point.

Rick Pitino reported on his website Christmas Eve that David Padgett was cleared to workout on Dec. 23, and that he could be ready to play as early as Jan. 10 against West Virginia. Obviously this is great news because this team desperately needs the presence of David Padgett on the floor, regardless of how he's moving.

In case you hadn't heard, the BCS sucks.

And lastly, congratulations to U of L pitcher Zack Pitts and third baseman Chris Dominguez for being named Louisville Slugger Third Team Preseason All-Americans by Collegiate Baseball.